moms bathing with their sons

Darlene - posted on 07/26/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I recently vacationed with my daughters family: a 10yr old son and a new husband of almost three yrs and their 2 1/2 yr old son. My concern is that the 10 yr old still bathes (and asks to bath) with his mom. Although he does bath and shower alone and with his sibling and/or their dad (my daughters husband) he still asks to bath with her... He is very much aware of sexuality, drugs etc, he is always listening when there is conversations involving adult topics etc. How do I approach the subject with my daughter, whom definately knows this is not acceptable with me... We differ greatly in the aspect of rearing her children... concerned grandma


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/26/2013




Basically, Grandma, you bite your tongue, unless there are actual signs of sexual abuse happening.

Because you and she admittedly differ in the aspect of rearing her children, you need to let her rear them. You've done your job with her, and if you're like the rest of us moms, you've done the very absolute best that you could with her.

If she is comfortable continuing to bathe with her son, and he with her, and there is no sexual abuse happening, you have to accept that their lifestyle and practices are different than you may be comfortable with.

Personally, I stopped bathing with my boys when they were old enough to notice an anatomy difference, but that was my decision. When I was growing up, it was not uncommon for either or both of my parents to remain nude in front of us, even at the ages of 10, 11, 12. There was nothing sexual about it, and it was a completely natural thing for them to do.

I differed from them in that I wanted to start teaching my boys to respect women early on (not that my parents FAILED in any way, by any means, but I'm not them...), and one of the ways that I chose to teach that was by teaching that physical privacy was important for everyone. That young men/boys should respect a woman/girl's desire to cover themselves. But, I also wanted to teach them that the human body is NOT a disgrace or anything to be ashamed of. Fine line to walk.

But, really, you aren't rearing her family. She is. And this is what they're comfortable with.

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