Moms of girls with anorexia history- is 9 too young?

Ava - posted on 04/30/2017 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I am a nanny in my mid twenties to 7 kids, one being a 9 year old girl. She is just under five feet and weighs 81 pounds. She will not anything besides vegetables and a little bit of grilled chicken if it's with brocolli. Her cheerleading coach approached me at practice and asked me to take her to the doctor to make sure she is healthy enough to compete. Her appointment is next week and I guess I am just trying to gather infromation beforehand. Her mom is already very hands off but has her own body image issues so she has left this one completely to me. Any help would be appreciated.

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Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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If a stranger whom identified herself as my nanny (and I have had a nanny) walked into my doctors office- she'd not make it past the receptionist. You, without notarized consent (which only lasts one year and then needs to be renewed) have zero right to these kids medical information. What if they need vaccines? You sign the consent? No way! I am a school nurse and I deal with daycare, nannies, babysitters all of the time. Without a release of info, even if I know they are the primary caregiver I cannot tell them anything. I don't think this doctor could possibly be that out of the loop!

Dove - posted on 05/01/2017

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If the parents do not get involved in the multiple issues w/ these children... perhaps it is time for CPS to investigate. Pretty sure if the doctor contacts the parents and they do nothing the doctor will call CPS anyway.

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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Woah! I am sure that they did call her mom, I never said they didnt! I just have not heard from her yet after I text her that we left the doctor.
I have taken these kids to this pediatrican before the parents signed a waiver!

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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This is just not something that can be chalked up to "disinterested parents". You are not a guardian of this child, you cannot even consent for release of medical info, so why the doctor is even talking to you violates HIPPA laws.

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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Any doctor worth a penny would be on the phone with these parents to discuss a 7 pound weight loss in a 9yo. Why this doctor is nonchalant makes no sense. My own child, now 12 (13 in 2 weeks) is 5'3" and I weighed her yesterday at 94 pounds. She went a year getting taller but not gaining weight and doctor was very, very worried. I cannot fathom a doctor letting child, already slim for her height, lose that kind of weight an not intervene.

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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That was my error. Last time she went to the doctor she weighed 81 pounds. But this morning at the doctor she weighed 74.

Dove - posted on 05/01/2017

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I'm a bit under 5ft. OP says 81 pounds and update says 74 pounds.. so that's a weight loss of 7 pounds. Certainly not a GOOD thing and any decent parent would be concerned about any unexplained weight loss of a child. I will say though that I am just under 4'11". At 16 or 17 I was 86 pounds until I got really sick for 3 weeks and got down to 78 pounds. Weight loss and limited diet are things to be concerned about, but the details keep changing which makes this seem off.

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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She is very good in school and rarely misses with the exception of appointments or normal kid sick days (strep, ear infection etc). She is active in dance class, cheerleading and loves to play in the pool.

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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I'm worried about what would happen with these kids if I quit. I love them all very much. I've worked for this family for almost 5 years

She gave me names for a few therapists and nutritionists. I am going to try and see if her mom wants any input before I go ahead and start calling around to the different numbers. I know it won't happen but I would feel guilty for not trying.

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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A girl at 9 can range from 48 to 57, inches and 49 to 112 pounds, so while she is tall and thin, she falls within the range. She has a BMI of 15.5 and that puts her at the 33 percentile. So her H/W does not concern me as much as the weight loss. Is she active and alert? Attending school and practice regularly?

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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That's shameful and I'd quit. If my child lost 12 pounds for no reason, I'd be terrified. So what did the doctor think of the wight drop and her overall health?

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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The coach was worried because the amount of the weight she had noticeably lost. She was at the doctor for a sinus infection a few months ago and weighed 81 pounds, that's a lot for a girl her age to lose.

She asked me to start giving her Pediasure and introducing new foods.

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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She weighed 74 pounds this morning.

I asked her to come with us and she did not want to.

Sarah - posted on 05/01/2017

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And if she is 4ft 11 inches, and 81 lbs, she'd be in the 52% for her BMI which is how height and weight percentiles are evaluated. Totally normal, so why is the coach even worried.
I am still boggled that this mother lets you take her kids to the doctor.....

Ava - posted on 05/01/2017

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My mistake everyone, I was just estimating her height. She is in actuality right under 5 feet when she was measured at the doctors this morning.

Dove - posted on 04/30/2017

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My boy is 9 and I know he's on the short side (around 25%) at 4ft 2.5in, but I can't imagine a 9 year old an entire foot taller than him.

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2017

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Dove, good point, my nearly 13 year old is the tallest in her class at 5'3" At 9 to be this tall, unless there is some genetic condition? An average 9 year old is 51 inches, that's a full nine inch variant.

Dove - posted on 04/30/2017

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A 9 year old girl is 5ft 2in?! I know a kid (boy) who is basically a giant and even he was still under 5ft til 10 or 11....

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2017

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The coach is way out of line approaching you about this issue. Hands off or not, her mother must be the one to address this issue. My own child is multi sport athlete, fall/spring soccer, volleyball and basketball, age 12 is 5ft 3in and 92 pounds. Nine is not too young start showing signs of an eating disorder, but that would be all the more reason to talk to her mother.

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