moms of tween girls help!!> tips on out smarting your tween and getting along w/ her

Rebecca - posted on 08/30/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




i have two twin girls age 11.5 starting middle school in one week..All we do is fight! i could use some advice on how to out smart them and get along better.. its two of them against me! also they have iphones now and it made their attitudes worse!! ugh help :


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Dove - posted on 08/30/2013




Take away the iPhone until their positive attitudes earn them back. Having a phone as a child is a privilege, not a right. If they don't EARN that privilege... they don't get it.

Also spend time just hanging out doing fun stuff with them (watching a movie, playing card games, whatever you all like to do) and talking openly and honestly without negative judgements or fighting.

Rebekah - posted on 08/30/2013




I admit I don't have a tweener yet, but my first gut response is to take their iphones as a consequence if they can't be respectful. I'm sure they won't be happy about it, but it is important to maintain rules, boundaries, and respect as they advance into the teen years. They need to know what is acceptable and what is not, and that you will follow through if they are breaking the rules.

It takes 2 (or 3?) to fight, so don't engage if they are trying to argue. Model what you want them to do...remain calm. Let them know that if they want to discuss something, you can do so only if its done in a calm and respectful manner. Give time (for all, if needed) to cool off before resuming conversations.

At the same time, their hormones are probably adding to the emotional response. Starting middle school can be a super stressful time, so that may be adding to it also. Keep the lines communication open with them and show love whenever you can. Listen, listen, listen. Spend time with them separately and find out individually how they are doing.

Hope that helps..

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