moms pro-spanking.I need help.

Carmen - posted on 12/12/2014 ( 15 moms have responded )

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The first is that I regret my bad english .... I am not English speaker.
I am a single mother of 36 years old, and I have a daughter 12.
This week has been awful .... I will try to summarize:
I made some very serious mistakes regarding my daughter.
I have always believed in the effectiveness and the positive that is the spanking, always applying it correctly ritual, intensity and love, so my daughter, who is actually very good girl and mature, it has positive proof, but spanking is always the last option.
The theme is that last week won a good punishment, at least I think so .... but it turned out that my daughter had not committed that fault, and was punished unfairly for me.
She said it was not fair, it really has a great sense of justice, too ... and was relmante angry and disappointed me. This made me feel really bad.
Two days later, I fell asleep and was late to take my daughter to school and my job .... his look of disappointment was terrifying when he came out of the car.
When he reached home we speak, and told me that our family was hard spanking discipline method with my daughter .... and it was not fair that I make so many serious faults and nothing happened .. just an apology.
And I was disappointed me .... what broke my heart, because my daughter was right about everything.
And that is what I deserved to receive a very severe punishment, and they apply it, which is not normal for a daughter punish your mother, but it was necessary .... I think of all this.
And that would be something secret.
I am very ashamed .... I tell Adults are not punished, but is very sad and disappointed me because the values that attempt to instill, I do not follow.
To end the week, I had to go pick your musical instrument that was repaired, and bring it to class in the music school ... but I had so much to do that I forgot to do .... and my face daughter ... said it all ... told me to accept my punishment ..... immediately told him I was sorry, I had a bad week ..... and finally my black week, yesterday my car was out of gas .... and arrived late to her sport and coach reprimanded for tardiness my daughter .... she told him what happened .... but the coach did not believe.
My daughter has been all day without talking to me ... I'm really decpionada myself ... and I thought I deserve a severe punishment, and even strange that my daughter would be the best person to run it.
I do not know what to do ... I need help, tips, and whether some mother something happened and how it has acted.
Please ask sincere and serious advice relevant to my problem.

Carmen

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Shalonde - posted on 12/14/2014

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Not understanding why you would allow her to spank you. The lesson here is that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has bad days/weeks. If you realized your daughter was just having an off week., it was not her usual way of going about things I'm sure your wouldn't spank her you'd talk to her. Give her an outlet to clear her mind. Punishment is not always the answer. In this case it really isn't

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Caroline - posted on 12/15/2014

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Why would you spank a 12yo?!?!?! My daughter is 12 and the last time she was spanked was when she was 6!!! And why let a child spank YOU?????????? It's wrong and gross...

Dove - posted on 12/14/2014

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What kind of help do you want? You aren't listening to people telling you that spanking a 12 year old is completely inappropriate and allowing your child to spank you is disgusting.... You really aren't going to get any better input than that... and aren't going to be getting ANY more real input unless you can make some sense and offer something more.

You may not speak English, but do you understand English? Do you understand enough to hear the words that it is wrong to allow your child to hit you? If you want HELP... act like it. Otherwise quit wasting our time.

Carmen - posted on 12/14/2014

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It is a real problem. You are not helping me. You can stop mail me if you speak to me that way.

Sarah - posted on 12/14/2014

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Your guilt is your punishment. Now if you are trolling and faking this whole issue (which I suspect). Get some therapy! Now!

Cecilia - posted on 12/14/2014

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I don't know if you are for real or not but if you feel that way apologize and try to get back on having things straight as possible. And adults do have punishments it called real life consequences. Which I can say is much worse than any punishment doled out to children and harder to get over.

Sarah - posted on 12/14/2014

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Any adult that believes they should be spanked is either sick, or lying about the situation. I don't think this is legit, I was open to consider the broken English but commone sense crosses all demographics and races.

Dove - posted on 12/14/2014

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And my 13 year old is awesomely behaved... and hasn't been spanked in at least 5-6 years or more. If you 'have' to spank a kid at 12... either you are a crap mother or your kid is not as 'good' as you think she is.

Dove - posted on 12/14/2014

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So... you aren't here for help and advice... simply to troll? Have fun w/ that... this is from a mother who HAS spanked all my kids and my oldest is 13. You don't want to listen to good advice and you want to let your child hit you... have fun w/ that, but know that that is NOT how a normal human being lives....

Carmen - posted on 12/14/2014

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A while ago, my daughter and I arrived at an agreement that would be punished until age it was necessary, so that your behavior is always good.
And after 12 years will be a harsher punishment because she is getting big.
Punishment works very well, I have a wonderful daughter, with a great sense of justice.
Even once confessed to me a crime and has asked me to punish her.
Still very far with me, and told me that I should bear as a mature person and know that I must be punished so that they re really not be so careless and learn the lesson. LAs promises that will not happen again have no effect.
She wants to spank my only.

And if I stop to give me a spanking and forget everything?

Dove - posted on 12/14/2014

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What the hell? NO!!! You don't EVER let anyone spank you. That is assault and is illegal.... at least in the US.

Now... I am not anti-spanking, but 12 is way too old to be spanked... for any reason. I don't know where you live and what resources are available to you, but you all need some help.

TALK to your daughter. Apologize for any mistakes you have made and then let it go. NO ONE has the right to hit you and NO ONE (including you) should be hitting your daughter at this point in life. TALK to each other... discuss the problems... and come up with reasonable solutions.

Carmen - posted on 12/14/2014

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Some mother thinks it would be good receiving a spanking?
Do not want my daughter to believe that no payment for my mistakes.

Sarah - posted on 12/13/2014

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If I understand you, because of your mistakes you have allowed or want to allow your child to spank you? Absolutely not. While am not pro-spanking, I respect your choice. It makes no sense to allow a child to "make things fair" you are human, and an adult. Apologize and be done with it. Perhaps it is time to consider no longer using spanking as a punishment as your daughter has the ability to reason like an adult. Treat her like one and discipline her in a different manner.

Carmen - posted on 12/13/2014

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Any tips or ideas?
I feel I have to let me be punished and close the circle.
I do not want to lose the respect of my daughter.

Melody - posted on 12/12/2014

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i'm probably not the best person to respond to this because i have a 14 month old but from what i can tell you are already hurting and no amount of punishment from anyone is going to fix this. You've realised that you made a mistake and you are hurting because you care about your daughter. That hurt won't go away! Have a family meeting and set things right, you know you made a mistake and can only learn from it but the fact that you are hurting means you care and you won't make that mistake again. You are still her mom so you let that little girl know that this won't happen again. Don't take any punishment from anyone - you are the mom and sometimes it's okay to make mistakes! you can meet up with the coach and explain it was your mistake but to me it sounds like you need the help of another person because there are too many things going on around you. xoxo - hugs to you :) i hope i helped

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