Jana - posted on 10/26/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )
My son was diagnosed with alveolar soft part sarcoma on my birthday, November 26th in 2008. He just turned 21. He died on my couch on July 9, 2014, my nephew's birthday. Its only been 3 months, but it seems that things are getting worse instead of better. We were incredibly close. He wasn't married and didn't have a girlfriend. His first chemo made him sterile so there was never a chance of him having children. I went with him all over the country to try and find treatment for a cancer that has no cure. It may be wrong, but I get very angry when I see all this money going to breast cancer research - in 2012 they took in $474,000,000 and sarcoma research didn't take enough in to be on the charity watch. I don't begrudge anyone research money, but when I see pink ribbons in virtually every store I go into I want to yell - pink isn't the only color. I am glad they're getting so much money for research but when someone loses a child from a cancer that isn't even recognized, that isn't right. Sorry for the rant. As I said, he died just over 3 months ago.
My son's favorite time of year was Thanksgiving with his dad and older brother and Christmas with me. He would decorate the entire house - we'd go out and buy a live tree from TROSA. He always wanted a live wreath for the door, so we would get that too. Last Christmas I think he knew would be his last, so he sent cards to every family member on both sides and told them how much he loved them and what they meant to him. I had someone at church come up to me about a month after he died and said time heals all wounds. I told her she was wrong...time healed nothing - it gave you time to adjust. I have times when I'm okay and feel functional, and then I have times when I can't seem to stop crying. I'm dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas when everyone comes over to be together because Andrew won't be there. I called Hospice to see if there was a support group for moms who lost children but there won't be one starting up for several months.
If you've ever dealt with this, please share with me how you got through it.