[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )
it would be nice to have someone to talk to maybe confide in. my situation is one of a kind and might blow your mind...
it pretty much starts when i was 14. my mother and step father got divorced and my mother left my half brother and i with my step father. he started molesting me shortly after that. it went on for three years. i told my mother what was going on and her response was i knew it was happening. i asked her why she didnt help me and she said because i acted like i didnt want her help.and that was that. someone reported my step father eventually and social services came and took my brother and i. we went into states custody.when it was time to testify against david my stepfather i found out my mother was testifying on his behalf because he offered her a car. needless to say i havent spoke to her since i hate her. her whole family was apparently on her side so as far as im concerned i have no family besides my son.my brother and i were split up between foster homes and we pretty much lost touch.i found out later that his father my step fathers parents adopted him. they hate me and blame me for putting their son in jail (yes 20 years no parole).so we arent close at all. anyway the whole foster home thing was a disaster long story but when i was 19 i went to college moved into the dorms and out of the bullshit i was thrown into by the state. anyway i was married for a while he was muslim and we ended up getting divorced over differences we had we still stayed friends through it all. well i moved in with one of my friends i thought he was my best friend and his wife lived with them for about a year and got pregnant. my sons father is a worthless piece of shit that is in jail now for god knows what he has never seen his son. when i was seven months pregnant we got into an argument over visitation and i havent spoken to him since. when i found out i was pregnant i told my ex husband about it and he supported me all the way. even came to visit me at my friends where i was staying. we all knew each other we went to college together. so my ex husband was there when gabriel was born he cut the cord helped me name him and not long after that my friend bailed out on me and left all the bills. so i moved to dc with my ex husband and here i am. i consider him to be my sons father he has been there since day one. he calls gabriel his son. he loves him to death. the only problem is that when we separated one of the biggest reasons was because i didnt want kids (id also had doctors tell me i couldnt have kids after treatment for cervical cancer) and he did i didnt want to hold him back. so its an awkward situation now its hard to talk to him about him lol. and after my friend screwed me over the way he did i cut everyone out of my life completely. i closed facebook and pretty much fell off the face of the earth im sick of not being able to trust people i get screwed over again and again since i was a kid ive been getting the shit end of the stick. the only good thing that has happened in my life is my son. he gave me a reason to live, i love him more than life itself i couldnt go on without him. finally i have someone i can call blood. and i will make sure with every fiber of my being that my son knows that he is loved, like my mother never did.
whew! that was a mouth full but it felt so good just to get it out. so you see its a very unique situation im thankful but always worried at the same time. hopefully this post will help some others in similar situations, hopefully i can meet some nice moms to be able to talk to :)