Love - posted on 04/09/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
My son will be turning 3 this year.. I've always felt fortunate to say my incounters with his grandmother have been far inbetween. Its not that I dont love her but she lacks love for me. My marriage hasn't always been easy but it seems my husband and I have finally gotten through our rough patch only to have her ruin it by showing up...not just by herself but with his very grown brothers as well. Just to set the scene my family and I stay in a 2 bedroom apartment...struggling ourselves to pay rent and the bills let alone put food on the table. She knows this but decided she would stay with us for at first just a month then it changed to 3 then 6 -_- and now supposively its 1 month again....YEAH NOT BUYING IT!!!! I forgot to mention there was no invite for the sudden visit. I just started working again part-time and I def. feel the distance between my son and I which seems to be getting that much more worst now that she has come to stay with us. I knew from the begining this was a huge mistake but my husband being the child and mama's boy he is seen none of the red flags. This is only day 2 of her being here and already I want to chase them out with a frying pan. We are crammed into one room...food is scarce and to make matters worst I have to act as if Im happy.
Today I worked from 5am to 1pm and I finally get him to myself around 6 only to have her tell me she needs my keys because her and her clan will by gone and who knows when they will be back ....daylight will be near before they return for all I know..... not only that but she will be taking my son with her. Sense when did I become a surrogate for her child? And to make matters worst my son has went from being a child with of course an opinion to a brat with much needed discipline. I am close to finding a place to stay myself untill they leave. Its ridiculous knowing how obviously bad of an idea this was in the first place but my husband is a fall on his head first type of guy and it doesn't help how blind he is to his mothers actions or behavior. I am now of course the bad guy......me being someone who wouldn't even allow my own family into our space because of the conflicts I believe would arise but now I am in a situation where I cant be honest.
Its time for the irony...She has always criticized our or should I say my parenting. And now that she is here everything that was wrong before is right. I understand the job of a grandparent is to spoil the grand child but its not fair the rules change because she says so. I of course am venting because how can I say this to them and still maintain a positive relationship-_-. Forget hiding this from my husband I chewed his ear off....this was his brilliant idea and if I have to suffer he will too. Oh yeah, according to him this is my fault because his mother ever so casually told him about maybe a month or few weeks before she came I could call her about whatever yet now that she's here our relationship seems to be as fake as ever. I try to strike up a convo but to be honest she seems to be nothing but drama which is also ironic to me....my husband has always made it known or I guess at this point mislead me to believe he steered clear of drama but now its looking like he steered clear of reality. I just need advice as too how I can keep my mouth under control while they are here. I really want her to get her time in with my son, she hasn't really seen him but a few times sense he's been born but Im worried how long this will last. Its really taking a lot for me to adjust so quickly to this my own family and I aren't close so I do believe my expectations could be higher than others but I dont know you tell me...