monster in law

Lilly - posted on 07/14/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok so I've been with my guy for 4years and with in those 4years I have been dealing his pushy mother and crazy pushy sisters.. So I got pregnant had a boy and after that that's were it all went down.. Cuz they only have One Grande child in that family Ann one nephew. So I brought another beautiful son to this world.. After that they just wanted to raise my kid always wanted to feed him always wanted to shower put him to sleep.. I'm like uh hello I'm a first time mother.. Let me do these things.. An me n ny guy split up for 5months because of them.. Always interfering with our relationship our parenting everything so I left. When we got back together I made him make in altimatum.. I said im movin out of state u should come with me let's start our life n get away from all these bs. So he said yes.. The day we left his mother went off on me n I went off on her. We left a few years later we moved back. There still tryin tryin to take my son all the time I say he can stay for the weekend but they make any excuse to keep him longer. They get mad when I'm like I want my son home now! They just so pushy always trying to take him for a week or every weekend and I'm like No damn don't u know what no means no! There so freaking pushy... An my guy such mamas he always trys to please his mom n I'm like what about me... Idk what else to do ladies please help give me advice... Thanks an sorry so long!

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Lilly - posted on 07/15/2013

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Its so hard to do that when the fact that he the only boy in that family.. So of course they all baby him an make him feel like crap of he chooses sides.. An they demand him to choose sides and if he doesn't they get mad. I'm like really there ur family they will get over it.. I'm ur women I'm not goin to always goin be around of this keeps goin on... An he just gets mad an he leaves.. I have no idea how to go about it cuz he's never had no male figure in his life.. So he's never had a real long term relationship.. He's new to this I guess.. Its so frustrating cuz I have no way to go about it..


There so obsessive and demanding... I feel like just running away an takin both of them or just my son... Its just like they don't realize what there doin to our family.. They don't see it as OUR family... They see it as Everyone apart of ours like they helped make the baby u know.. Idk there no reasoning with them cuz they don't listen of its just me standing up for myself. I'm trying to show my guy how to be a man since he has no man figure an I'm the dominant one. :/

Kristi - posted on 07/15/2013

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No worries...that's what we're here for. All I can suggest is stop leaving your son there at all. When you go over there to visit, take him when you leave. I'm sure it will be really hard at first but you're going to have to put your foot down and be firm and consistent, basically just like you would (will) when your child misbehaves and you want to break him of a bad habit.

Your boyfriend has to get on the same page or it won't work. The three of you are supposed to be a family unit (like in unity) now. You are supposed to be loyal to one another and back each other up. The 2 of you should sit down with them, when everybody is relaxed and the baby is not there, and lay it out for them. Explain (don't be threatening or rude, just be calm and factual) this is how things are going to be and if they can't respect your (you and your boyfriend) wishes, then it will be very difficult for them to see your son. Period, end of story, their choice.

Like I said, it will take BOTH of you to do this and you will have stand your ground or it will not work and you will have less control than you do now. And, I can almost guarantee, your relationship with your boyfriend won't last. I don't think anybody wants that.

Lilly - posted on 07/14/2013

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That's the thing since we moved back were staying at a relative house and she knows how they are so she doesn't want them at her house. An we moved back because he was so home sickaand away from everyone and I was feeling like that too.. But it seems like it was the WORST idea we ever did and we plan on move back in the next two years hopefully. .. Cuz this is to much kous for me.. And I do get a long with them.. I have had conflict with one of the sisters be cuz one time my gf came to pick me up an visit with me n my son cuz she hasn't seen my newborn son. An it was winter time but it doesn't snow or anything were I'm at it was just a little cold n for like a light sweater. An she came over n at the time I was living with his family.. So she came n she asked if I was ready and my bf mother had my son.. An i was like okay I'm leaving now can I get my son an she like hold on an passes my son to his aunt an they kept saying everything they could to tell me not to leave n I have been trapped in that house most of my pregnancy so I was like no I want to leave an have some time away from them.. So I finally got my son n he was covered up with two blankets an had a thick onsie on. He sister came following me to my friends car an wa open the door n tried to take my son out the car n I'm like wtf r u doin.. She like ur not takin my nephew any were. Started sayin I was bad mother cuz its cold outside an he's going to get sick n I'm tryin to steal hin.. I'm like Bitch this is my kid what r u talking about he's covered n the car has heater an she just flipped.. That was the first time I left him for it.. Cuz he didn't even seem to care cuz they were makin him take there side.. Like really who does that.. I'm not a bad parents I take care of my son.. But they just WANT him m for there selves it seems. There freakin psycho.. Idk what else to do. . Like let us b a family and let us breath man.. My son doesn't always have to see them and they don't always have to take him every weekend... It get so bad were they don't want to bring him home so I have to go all the way over there an pick him up so they can't make up no bs why he can't come home. Ugh sorry so long I need to vent lol

Kristi - posted on 07/14/2013

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I would not give your child to them in the first place, if they can't respect your boundaries. When they want to VISIT your son, let them come to your house at a specific time and day. For example, tell them you have some free time on Saturday between 2-5, if they'd like to come over during THAT time, you're sure you're son would love to see them. At 5pm, thank you for coming, we have things we need to get started on so we'll see you next time. If your boyfriend takes your son to his mother's, just make sure he knows he better not come home without him.

Why do they feel the need to be so "involved" in your relationship and with your son? Are they just trying to be helpful? Do they think you're a bad parent? I mean do you get along with any of them at all or have you ever? Why did you move back?

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