Mood Swings of teenagers

Sanchita - posted on 09/15/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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It is often seen that how much ever we try to help our teenaged children they always find us not cooperating.. it is so frustrating. We want to help and they just shirk us away. I think all of us face the same situation with our kids.

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Ev - posted on 09/18/2016

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{{Actually we always have to gove in to remain friends with the teeaged tots. If we keep giving in to all their requirements then we are loved, told and expressed by them. But the moment we start putting our foot down they just shut up... it becomes very painful.}}

I have to totally disagree with this! I have two adult children and when they were preteen and teen ages I had no trouble at all communicating. Yes, they tried things at times like all teens do, but I never backed down and gave them their hearts' desires. That is not the way the world works and your kids will be in a world of hurt when they do not have things handed to them on a silver platter. The world does not give you everything you desire--if you want something you have to work for it or earn it. By giving in to their requirements you have allowed them to walk all over you and your rules because you never enforced the issue. As for communication that is something you did to make this turn out as it has. I had the desire to become the best parent I could and I think it says a lot when my kids and I are close because of this.

Sarah - posted on 09/15/2016

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Dove, a day or two a month? You are a blessed woman...I guess with twins that is 4 days a month. I get a full week of horrible, the the dam breaks (literally and figuratively) and she is human again. Unless it is club volleyball, then she stops her cycle altogether and is lovely! ;)
PS why can't I do emoji's?

Sarah - posted on 09/15/2016

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I have to agree with Shawnn and Jodi. While maybe not as forthcoming, they are still keeping an open dialog with me about their lives. I find it best to catch them rested and gently ask open questions. If they are tired, hungry or stressed and I start interrogating? Of course they shut me down. I think telling them since they were tiny "you can tell me anything, you can trust me, I will always have your back, you can't do anything that will make me not love you, I will always help you if you need me" as helped. They know that if they are in a bind; I will not judge (will I be disappointed? sure) but I will plod ahead to ehlp them in whatever quandary they face.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/15/2016

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No, not really...My boys have always been open to communication, as children, as teens, and now as adults

Jodi - posted on 09/15/2016

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No, not really. My kids have been pretty good at communicating as teens. Maybe it's the way it is approached?

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Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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Like I said... my girls do get pretty much everything they want (as far as privileges are concerned, not material possessions) because I don't object to most of what they want, but if I do object and they don't get it... they accept that. Sure, they may be a little disappointed or upset, but not w/ ME... just at the situation and they recover rather quickly.

You may have a hard time w/ your teenagers, Sanchita, and yes, it happens to a lot of families (as evidenced by a lot of posts of this board), but it's not a guarantee. There are a lot of teenagers that have good relationships w/ their parents even when they don't get everything they want.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2016

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I have never given in to my kids, but I still have a good relationship with them. Please don't come on here and tell us that can't happen. By all means, share your experience, but don't tell others it can't happen. I understand you want to share what is going on with you, but this is not the case for everyone.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/18/2016

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Sorry, but you have created your own situation here. If you had not given in to their every wish and desire to begin with, and had instilled consequences for undesirable behaviour, you would not have taught your children that the way to get you to give in was to act the way they do.

If you would stand by consistent consequences, and not give in, I would be willing to bet you would see a change. Not an immediate one, mind you, because you have let it get this far, but an eventual change.

Sanchita - posted on 09/17/2016

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Actually we always have to gove in to remain friends with the teeaged tots. If we keep giving in to all their requirements then we are loved, told and expressed by them. But the moment we start putting our foot down they just shut up... it becomes very painful.

Dove - posted on 09/15/2016

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As far as them flipping out over 'nothing' is concerned... yep, a day or two a month each. I've got one that also gets hit bad the first 12-36 hours like she has the flu... which really sucks. The other just gets cramps and is more likely to kill the boy when she starts. Things were pretty crazy at 10-12/13 years old, but I think they have 'stabilized' and changing their schooling situation solved basically every other problem they had.

Like I said though... I fear for when the boy gets older as I already can't 'win' anything w/ him... ever... and he's only 8, so no hormones in the mix yet. lol

Dove - posted on 09/15/2016

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I can envision that life will be a lot different when my son (8 now) is older because he has always been a major challenge, but I have two that will be 15 in about 3 months and... no challenges/frustrations at all. They are basically raising themselves at this point w/ minor, occasional guidance from me or one of the other many involved adults in their lives... and they have always been quite receptive to any input that they DO get because they know that myself and the other adults in their lives only ever want the best for them. Female hormones pretty much suck, but even that is only a day or two per month for each of them.

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