Mortified my 2.5 yr old was perfect B-R-A-T at playdate today. How do gegt perfect kids?!!.

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I just want to cry.

Isn't it the most embarrassing thing to have a child that acts snotty? Or maybe you all have perfect children :)

She was horrible stinker today. Pushing little ones, screaming and crying at kids, not sharing in the least, and otherwise being so MEAN>



She's always had shyness/ social issues. Sometimes it comes out as withdrawing into her own activities, other times like this-- HORRID behaivior.



I get in a hurry and what I should do is slow down and before a playdate go over all the rules, expected behaviors, what she should expect from other children.. etc. etc. This was a new house and new children, and perhaps it was just that. It's one thing one she's mean to her little brother (that sucks too), but when she's mean to others children, other moms I'd like to hang out with, UHUHUHU! What a stink.



WHat do you do? How do you feel? It's just mortifying!!

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Lisa - posted on 01/24/2011

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When it happens, discipline your daughter and then apologize to the other mothers. You can always say, "I'm sorry, these phases drive me nuts! Any advice on how to cope when they get bratty?" If another parent doesn't understand that children sometimes act that way, you probably don't want to be friends with them anyways!

There's another mother at church who has children about my kids ages and her little one is going through that phase where he'll come up and hit or push. She apologizes and explained to me that he's the youngest at daycare so he gets pushed around so he uses that behavior and she hates it but they're working on it. I laughed and said, they all go through it and it's okay. When it happens, whoever catches it just explains that's not what we do and redirects the boys. No big deal, kids are kids and still learning what's appropriate.

Kathy - posted on 01/24/2011

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Perfect kids?? LOL Only in the movies! She is a toddler. She is normal! She doesn't understand sharing, expected behaviors, etc, etc.. Best you can do is to stay calm. When she melts down or is starts to, remove her from the situation to a quiet place and give her a chance to calm down. Explain to her that hitting and such is a big no-no. Keep playdates small and intimate. Also keep the time short. You will get used to ignoring the looks when your child melts down. Be consistent, do your best stay calm, keep things age appropriate, and balance love with boundaries. Eventually your child will grow up to have a child just like her! LOL Good luck!

Brooke - posted on 01/24/2011

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Well, my best bit of advice, you already said it yourself about sitting down before and talking about what's expected etc. but as we Mum's know, life does NOT work on a perfectly planned schedule.
When she does misbehave, give her a warning that if the behaviour does not stop, she will have to sit out for a bit, you may have to take her for a short walk to get away from the other kids. After the timeout, tell her if she does not stop the behaviour (be explicit in explaining so she know exactly what behaviour you are referring to- don't just say "be good" or "stop being naughty") then you will take her home and she will miss out on playing. Make sure you really are prepared to carry it out though- no use making an ultimatum if you are not going to follow through.
And when she does behave well, TELL HER!!!!!!!
So many of us tell our kids off when they do something wrong, but forget to say anything when they get it right. You would be amazed how much positive reinforcement actually works- my kid offered to do the dishes today, because we made such a fuss last time he helped without being asked!
One last thing- just remember that no matter what you do, sometimes she is just going to be a brat no matter what, and if the other parents are worth anything at all, they will not think any less of you for it. In fact, they are probably all sitting there hoping their kid is not going to be a brat today too!

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