Mother Daughter Relationships

Heather - posted on 07/16/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am the mother of three daughters, 9, 6, and 2 months. I am struggling with my older girls listening to me when I ask them to do something, and reverting to yelling as a last resort. I love them with all my heart, but I am clearly sending them the message that I don't like them. To them they are always in trouble, to me they are not listening. How to I change this around?


Chet - posted on 07/16/2014




Our girls are 10 and 8.5. The standard advice for getting little kids to listen still holds with them: go to where the child is, make sure you have their full attention, look them in the face, and then make your request.

I don't expect our kids to instantly do what I ask them. I do however, insist that they respond. It's okay to finish the page you're reading, or to finish the sentence you're writing, or to say you'll take the towel upstairs when you go up to brush your teeth, but I want acknowledgement that you heard what I said and specifics about how you plan to comply.

If our kids are really not cooperating I warn them that I'm running out of ways to ask and I will have to get angry next. Or I'll say that I don't want to yell, but I will if that's what's going to work.

I also try to make it clear why things need to happen - "you need to take your things off the table because we're setting the table for supper", "please put this in your backpack so it goes to school tomorrow", "take your wet bathing suit out of your swimming bag so it doesn't get smelly," etc.


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