mother denying me of child.. in which I do have a court order

Unknown - posted on 03/24/2014 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a problem with my child mother. I have a court order to see my kid but she denied me on my ffifth visitation. Do to me not knowing much bout father rights I listen to outsiders saying if you act like u don't want to be bother that's when she bring him around. Instead of doing my way in which it gotten me in trouble not thinking b4 reacting. And I tried it their way and its not what I really want. Not to fight fire with fire. We been to court has a restraining order on me which I don't blame her I wasn't normal person at that time. But she also put a restraining order on me and my son. I won that battle in court. I love my son both of my sons and she knows that but she use him to hurt me. It work at that time. But now 3 months has pass I didn't see him do to her action and cuz of the restraining order she try to provoke me on doing something so she can call the police and put me in jail. I stayed away cause of that but I miss my son so much. I even resigned from my job because we work together. She never ask for a penny even though I was doing for my son but doing the split up she didnt want no cash talking bout we don't need you. But once I quit my job and the court give me the order to see him so we exchanged the kid on the days it was order. After 2 visit she started to ASK for money she knew i wasn't working at that time so she started to threaten not to let me see my son if I don't give her money.. last time I went to go get my son I was with my 7 year old son. And that's when she flip out on me started cursing and trying to provoke me my oldest son started crying and I almost lost it myself but was more concerned about my son in tears good thing I chose not to react cuz I know I would be in jail do to violation of probation and restraining order. Hope it kind of sums up the story. I want to see my son I'm a smart person I have my old job back I'm heading in the right path. But I have no clue on getting my son or on how to handle this situation when the same ppl "cops" told me in the beginning I was doing it wrong" and now the same ppl "cops" telling me we can't do nothing for u. In
Which in a way they can't to some degree but I think they could...

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Jodi - posted on 03/24/2014

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Little Miss, they give restraining orders for threatening behaviour and verbal/emotional abuse too. I had one against my ex for that exact reason. If she could demonstrate merely that she FELT threatened, she'd have a restraining order. So no, he may not have beaten her, he may have been angry and abusive towards her and while that is also unacceptable, it doesn't mean he beat her.

Unknown - posted on 03/24/2014

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That's great to hear and I hope y'all stay happily married. I never said I love one more then the other she says that to me n others ty for your help

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/24/2014

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The way you have expressed yourself, you have made yourself look like one. Yeah, you are right. NOT ALL MEN ARE "BEATERS". See I am married to a wonderful man that would never lay a hand on me in a negative manner. I would never need a restraining order on him.

You know what else sucks about your comments? That you say you love one of your children more than the other. That is pretty awful, and your kids probably know one is the favorite.

You want answers? Go to court.

Unknown - posted on 03/24/2014

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Lady you don't have to believe me and I would love to show you the reason y I have a restraining order but it is what it is. And I told the judge she can keep it on me forever. I'm not going to bad mouth nobody or judge them. I came for answers and yours is just pointless to me if not willing to help or keep trying to bad mouth somebody then good luck. Just remember not all men are beaters

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/24/2014

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I don't believe you. She has a restraining order out on you for a reason. Yes you are right, this is a mothers site.

Unknown - posted on 03/24/2014

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True I haven't been a saint in the beginning. I don't look at it in no type of relationship she was told to exchange the kid car to car no words pass and at the third visit I return him and did spoke to her only about our child telling her what he did that was funny only to share it with her nothing more. She laugh about it and we talk about it and on thing's to make it better for him that was it. Then next 2 weeks she flipped out talking bout the conversation of last visit. We work at the same job I don't make rye contact or nothing but she bad mouth me. For one to say I'm a woman beater I think not. Not most men or women beater would go on a mother site just to get answer or help from other mother. I think they need more men on here to get advice if he don't know all the answers

Jodi - posted on 03/24/2014

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It is a good idea that you are exchanging at the police station. I did that for a long time with my son when he was young because of my ex's habit of being abusive toward me when it came time to exchange our son. Please don't justify your behaviour toward her (just as she shouldn't justify her behaviour toward you). You are the adults in this relationship, you both need to act like it. Just because she isn't, doesn't mean you shouldn't. Just remember, you no longer have a relationship together, you are merely co-parents. Treat the relationship accordingly. Take you emotions out of it as best you can and focus on your child only. What she is doing (withholding visitation) is wrong, but you haven't been a saint in this either.

Unknown - posted on 03/24/2014

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No I never said I beat on her or abuse her. Never touch her. We have a history of arguing alot bout things she gets a lil physical on me more of damaging my car anything in my house. My son is 2 year-old she feel I love one more then the other one. Doing the breakup yes I was hurt but alwayd wanted my son she denied me then. While dealing with another guy which I had no problem with just the point on her telling me I can't see him.. as a father and dad Igot upset in yyour case angry my emotions got the best of me and I didnt attack anyone just took out on her friend or bf car. I do get help through nola dad. And for another thing we do the exchange at a police station that's the place I chose

Jodi - posted on 03/24/2014

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Go back to court. If you have court orders saying you can see your son, she is violating them. If the restraining order is only for her, you stay away from her. Your son is old enough to be able to come out to the car on his own, you do NOT need to communicate with her. Start using text messages and/or email to request access to your son (don't speak to her) and get the response in text/email. You then have evidence of her denying your visitation.

About the child support, file to have that ordered too. Then no-one can complain. She actually has no right to withhold visitation because of child support - they are treated as separate issues in the court. However, she does have a point - you should be paying something toward the upbringing of your child.

With regard to your violent nature, I agree with Little Miss, get some therapy.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/24/2014

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So, what I understand is that you are physically violent with your ex, and she fears you and fears you may hurt your son. You have a difficult time controlling your temper, so she got a restraining order on herself and your son to protect them. Now you want to see your son due to court order. Well, go back to court and stop beating those around you. Get some fucking therapy. Maybe no one wants to help you because you are a wife beater.

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