Mother-In-Lae

Samantha - posted on 07/18/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have many problems with my mother in law. She does have diagnosed problems-bipolr(the sad kind,not angry), depression, anxiety, and has been suicidal. She is obssessed with my daughter and husband. Very nice to me, but will lie to me(she thinks I dont know) about conversations that apparently happened between my husband and her-things to make her feel good about herself, and like she is trying to prove to me that he still needs his mom to help him with things. We just bought a house and doingwork to it, she helps my husband with work on the house(painting, and such)..while I am at work.She ruins things, does things her way, gets under his feet. He will find things for her to do just so she will shut up about getting to help. When I get home she will brag to me about everything my husband needed her to do(which he didnt), and make up conversations about them that never happened. She is sneaky, will try to find excuses to see my daughter or find things for me to do so she can watch her. And she has her once a week as it is! I used to invite her on shopping trips with my daughter and I, but she would sit in the backseat and play with her and ignore me. DIdnt want me to breastfeed her, so she could hold her and look into her eyes and bond with her and feed her.She runs around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find things to do to help us and get into our lives. And we do involve her! Its not like we leave her out. She is just weird. But its to the point, I dont even want to come home if she is there! My husband knows how she is and always agrees with me. But we do not want to put her out of our lives, we love her,she is just crazy,,what to do?

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Gena - posted on 07/20/2014

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Your last question said it..just keep on loving her! You know she has problems,and personaly i find it great that she wants to spend time with you and the family. Is she maybe around too often? Could that be whats bothering you? I have an uncle,he is shizophrenic and he use to come over to our place everyday and he wasnt taking his meds and he would talk a ton of bullshit (i know its not his fault,he is sick) but the worst is he would start gettung aggresive,like talk about mafia thats after him and he would start getting aggresive. Thats when i phoned my aunt and said she has to do something,he is not on his meds and he is not ok. Anyway,he went to a clinic for acouple of months again,and is back on his meds. What i am trying to say is, when he use to come almost daily i was freaking out when he would knock on our kitchen window(he NEVER rings at the door)..because i knew,here we go,another whole day with my uncle that i love but actualy i am scared of him and it works on my nerves to have him here the whole day...almost everyday. Now that he is back on his meds he comes over maybe 1 every week.He is very quiet,hardly speaks. But now i can actualy handle him..or better said it doesnt bother me when he comes around for some hours. I told you about my uncle because i am wondering if you kinda have the same problem with your mother in law...would it maybe do you good if she doesnt come around every single day? Maybe try agree on when she can come..i wouldnt stop the contact,not at all.But maybe just that it isnt forever bothering you. I hope i made sense.

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