mother-in-law as babysitter

Gmegan14 - posted on 12/21/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




My MIL is my babysitter since we can't afford nor trust a stranger to watch our baby. Lately I've had some concerns that my husband sees as minor issues i should let go. 1st I didn't want to start my baby on baby food until at least 5 months and at 3 months she decided it was okay to start giving it to him, which i believe was the cause of him developingg stomach issues and we had to play around with some formulas until we found a sutible one. then recently i said he couldn't have a candy cane and once i left she gave it to him (he is 6 months old now). Today, they went shopping no big deal just keep me in the loop, (when you leave, arrive, head home and arrive home) where she went it takes an hour to get there, I messaged her an hour and a half after she should have arrived to find out if they made, which they had thank goodness, then I had to message her again when I was fixing to leave work only to find out they were headed home as well. i recieved her text when they left house for the day tha's it, how would any of you handle this issue? I feel like if she cant take 30 seconds to keep me informed about the safety of my child then she shouldn't take him anywhere, she shouldn't act like it's a big deal being as she expect my husband and I to let her know when we get where we are going if it's further then an hour.


Dove - posted on 12/21/2015




The moment someone gave my 3 month old food w/out my permission would have been the last time they were alone together. That is NOT a minor issue.

I would not care so much about keeping tabs on their every movement during their time together though. My dad doesn't believe in cell phones and while it is frustrating when they are running late and I don't know where they are or when they will get home... I know w/out a doubt that my kids are 100% safe w/ him... because I trust him.

It sounds like you have several legitimate reasons of why you do not trust her though... I would need to address these or she would no longer be left alone w/ my child.

Sarah - posted on 12/21/2015




This is where the line between grandma and sitter is blurry. You want her to behave like a sitter, she wants to behave like his grandma. However, my MIL nor mother would have ever fed my child solids without my permission (or given a 6 month old candy) and I would have hit the roof if they had! If my sitter had done either of those things, I'd have fired her.
Your first statement is interesting:
"My MIL is my babysitter since we can't afford nor trust a stranger to watch our baby."
The financial thing I sort of get, sort of. The part about the stranger, I just don't get. A qualified sitter will have references or have been well vetted by an agency and you take the time to get to know a sitter before you leave your child with her/him. You MIL is doing things without your permission, and taking your most precious cargo on outings but you think a professional would be a greater risk?
How would I handle it? I'd not have her babysit. Let her be the doting grandma.


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