Mother in law making big stress

Amanda - posted on 09/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have no idea what to do. My husband is adopted and his mom is a single mom. She has almost always gotten what she wanted when it comes to him. She is Catholic, my husband was raised Catholic but does not recognize himself as such and though he believes in a higher power, is not at religious as me. I am active in my faith and we made the call TOGETHER to have our daughter baptized in the Episcopal faith. Battle number one, and it has been epic, seeing as she will say things like i am completely ignoring her faith and that she might not even come because of this choice. I like my church i like the children s programs and i feel like i should not be standing up in a house of worship and promise to raise my child in that faith if i have no intention in doing so. On top of this last night ( 12 days till my due date) she drops this little gem about our church wedding. I don't like large groups of people it stresses me out, my husband just wants to do the paper work and have a reception no church at all. we decide on a small 20 min chapel thing , again at my church, because my pastor will do a minimalist low on the god thing for my husband. She is not saying if we do that and she cannot invite all the people she wants and have a real wedding she just wont go. i now feel like a bad person because of the choices my husband and i made together and i am afraid of what is to come. She keeps making all these plans for our not yet born child and then guilt tripping us when we say no. This will be her only grand child i get that, but if this is how we are starting off what will happen down the line?

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Amanda - posted on 09/19/2013

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He is so stressed with our first baby on the way but i feel that after she is born he will have to make some of those calls. Mostly he tries to not get involved

Deborah Ridgely - posted on 09/19/2013

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What does your husband think about all of this? Is he going to be a man and make his own decisions? Or is he going to hold on to Mommy's apron strings and let her rule your household? That is what marriage is all about - leaving and cleaving. Do what you feel you need to do, being as respectful as you can to your mother in law. It os your marriage and children and you need to tell her to back off and let you make your own decisions. If she doesn't back off you need to move away and don't leave a forwarding address.

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