Mother in law problems how to make her realize her son is a man now

Karla - posted on 10/10/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I need advice i want to know if im been mean or if their is something really wrong with her. My mother in law her kids of her own she is 46 and has a 9 year old and a 6 year old, i also have my 6 year old son and for right now we are living with them because she needed the baby sitting, she treats my son like he is a burden and a couple of days ago my sons markets went "missing" i know she had them she always takes away my sons things when ever he makes one mistake he accidentally dropped the market on the carpet and left a stain. her kids always make a mess everywhere and color the walls and never once did she take away their stuff and neither have i its not my place. so i started asking my son where he left the markers that he needs to learn how to take care of his things that it was a birthday give pretending that i was upset. my in law was right next to me when i was telling my son this and she pretended like she didn't know anything, so i called my husband and told him if he could please help him look for his markers because he was really sad he couldn't color. I called him during my break and to my surprise not really... she had taken them and hidden them from him again!! so my husband got mad and got really upset and told her, but she said that he has no reason to yell at her just because of markers im sorry but that is my son i will defend him against anyone and anything including family, and she doesn't like my husband defending his son. she doesn't understand that he is a father and husband and his family comes first now i have never told him to go against her but this was crossing the line we never touch her kids stuff why should she. she ended up telling him well you are already leaving the house that why you are talking to me like that you never raised your voice at me ( yeah he is a grown ass man now) you are going to leave me to go live by yourself, she only wants him here in the house not my son or myself and im tired. wondering i should say something to her or just ignore it i am so tired of her treating my son like he doesn't belong when thats her grandson. she has never given him a hug one kiss a i love you Never in all his 6 years of life. im starting to not care its not worth it i will not let my son feel like he is less than everyone else in this house. i just want to know if its normal for grandmothers not to like their grandkids at all?


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Michelle - posted on 10/10/2015




The best solution would be to move out. I'm not sure who needed who to babysit though.

Jodi - posted on 10/10/2015




I have to say, your post was REALLY difficult to read and process without paragraphs and punctuation, but I "think" I got it.

Firstly, I am going to stop you about the yelling at his mother thing. Actually, no, he doesn't have the right to yell at her, that is an inappropriate way for him to express himself to the woman who is currently putting a roof over your heads as a family. If he is upset at her, he can discuss it with her like an adult, not yell at her like a child. He can stand up for his child without resorting to yelling. She has every right to now tell him (and therefore his family) that she doesn't want you to live there any more. And ultimately, if you don't like living with her, you are both adults, make a decision to leave. And yes, it really is that simple.

Secondly, if she is looking after the child in her home and she decides to remove the markers from him as a consequence for staining the carpet, then I am not seeing why that is a problem. I cannot believe you have made a decision to turn this situation into a major drama and deliberately escalated it. The way you have personally handled this situation appears to be immature and over the top. She didn't take the markers because she doesn't like the child. She took the markers because she didn't want him to have them for a reason. Did you actually ASK her why she took the markers the second time? Or did you just listen to your six year old (who we all know isn't going to tell you the whole truth).

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