Mother in-law ruining my marriage! Husband letting it happen.

Alyssa - posted on 06/28/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )




The title says it all.

I am aware I am not the only woman going through this.

My husband and I have been married for a short while.
Only one problem - He is a massive Mama's boy and I had no idea it was this bad.
His Mother is rude and disrespectful to me and my side of family. Yet my Husband does not stand up for me. She communicates through face book and text messages so he can read into it,

At our wedding she completely turned into the devil, she was rude to my friends and family. And her wedding speech was just about my husbands achievements - absolutely nothing about me. Because she was in a horrid mood she made the wedding about herself and her feelings. Husband forgave her the next day for that one. And blamed me for the way she was acting.

She constantly lets her son down with her negetive comments, even about his choices in life but yet he always reply's with a "sorry" or tells her how much he loves her and he will do better etc;
I think it is disgusting and very embarrassing.
I've spoken to him about this "issue" and he agrees with me and is aware of what she is like. I've told him she needs to go, He will lie and say he never hears from her, but the secret messages and phone calls when I am not around say otherwise.
Why is my husband doing this to himself? And why is he keeping it a secret when he talks to her?

I am 9 weeks pregnant with his child.
I feel like I don't even know who my husband is anymore. Need advice!!!!!!


Cutemommy - posted on 07/01/2015




my husband was like that until i couldn't take it anymore and left him. A little less than a year later we got back together, and he put his mom in her place (as just a mother and not a wife). I guess the months while I was gone he started to see things for himself. I don't recommend leaving but I can recommend knowing when the right time to leave is. If you are not being treated with dignity and respect why stay. I would cry myself to bed sometimes, it was that bad. Now his mom is extremely nice which scares me because i still don't trust her, but I go out of my way to be nice because that is still his mother and my daughters grandmother. When he starts to put you above her in your rightful place she will either back off or learn to love you. I say learn because its hardly natural for some mother in laws to love the women their sons choose. keep your happiness dont let her rob you of that, he needs counseling.

Arrdieu - posted on 06/30/2015




Sit your husband down and tell him how you feel about the mum coming between you two, i think your both old enough to now what you both wants without mum intruding, !

Candie - posted on 06/29/2015




Have you considered marriage counseling? There may be some underlying issues to why this is happening. He may be keeping the conversations from you because he doesn’t want to upset you. On your end, it’s not right; on his end it’s justified.

That’s just been my experience. Somehow you need to get on the same page - with the help of a counselor. For me, I had to try to be less judgmental. Since this is an issue you’ve been dealing with for a while it’s going to be hard. For him: being open to listening when you do bring something to his attention. Chances are he doesn’t even realize it most of the time.

Getting a third party perspective to the situation may help you both get past this. The two of you should definitely be on the same team. I’d be looking to address the issues before a baby comes along. If you're both willing to do the work, a change is possible! Good luck to both of you.

~Candie~ with an -IE


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/29/2015




1) You knew this about him prior to marriage. He didn't just wake up on your wedding day and decide to let his mother run everything.
2) If you want it to work, you both need to commit to counseling. If he won't, make sure you have solid paternity proven and get custody and support established as soon as baby is born, because this relationship ain't gonna last if it stays this way.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/28/2015




I dont have any advice... im in the same boat.
but i can say the worst is the let down.
Reminds me of that story about Socrates. She'll make you feel like youre a worse wife than she is a mom, and then just go and smash his heart some, leaving you feeling like you could never measure, and he has no one strong enough to turn to.
Youre not alone, its hard and it hurts. And if anything, im hoping to at least help you feel your feelings are valid- because i dont know what else to say :(

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