Mother In Laws? Tell me about yours.

Heather - posted on 03/20/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




Tell me about your mother in law.

Mine (while I'm sure she has the best in mind) often oversteps her boundaries and sometimes says little comments that seem to belittle me. Anyone else have this kind of problem? If so, tell me how you've dealt with it. Or have you got a mother in law you completely get along with??

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Erin - posted on 12/30/2011




I love, love, love my MIL. In fact, at this point in time, I would rather call her and ask for advice than I would my own mother. Part of it is because when reworking my not so healthy relationship with my sister, she took my sister's side (just look at everything from her point of view and nothing would be wrong). Since then, she's gotten very passive-aggressive with me, which for the most part I ignore. Add to that, she's not sure what to do with boys rough-housing and I only have two boys that like to wrestle with each other, I am not comfortable around my own mother. Now, my MIL is my support and encouragement. She listens to me rant and can calm me down. This Christmas, my husband has been deployed and my MIL and FIL paid for airplane tickets for me and my boys to come out to spend Christmas with them. While out here, I treated myself to a perm and my MIL went with me. When telling my stylist how we knew each other, I said that my MIL was my mom. That's just the relationship we have.

Dusty - posted on 12/30/2011




When my husband & I first got together I had what I believed was the MIL from hell. She never invited me to family functions, not even Christmas. Eventually she got the hint when my husband refused to come to even visit her because of her actions. I ended up talking to her about it & found out why she felt the way she did...luckily, it had nothing to do with me as a person. We talked & she changed almost overnight. Now we have a good relationship :)

Qzette - posted on 03/21/2010




My mother in law is also insane. The thing is, she only wanted her son to use me and then toss me aside. Well that didn't go that way. We are soul mates and still after 13 years so much in love. There is no other way of doing things but her way. I can never do anything right and I cannot teach my kidz my way. I'm busy loosing my mind.

Tara - posted on 03/21/2010




My MIL and SILs have pretty much tried to ruin my relationship with my husband too. Now that my husband isn't their whipping boy and stands up for himself, makes his own decisions, etc I've suddenly been cast as the evil lazy witch who doesn't "let" my husband do anything or make his own decisions. My one SIL suggested CPS be called because our house isn't perfectly tidy and said that we weren't really a family (we have been together 5 years, been married 3 and have 2 children together), my other SIL suggested that we don't care about a future for our kids and my husband is a lazy slob who doesn't help around the house. My MIL told my husband she doesn't believe he has ADHD (he was tested and diagnosed by a doctor who specializes in adult ADHD) and that he is just lazy, etc.
When we lived in the same city with them, my MIL would call us every day to ask my husband if he had showered and shaved for work, she suggested I lay his clothes out for him so he could dress well. When I was pregnant with our oldest daughter, she said that it would be a "pain and inconvenience" if they had to take me to the hospital if I went into labor (I was on full bedrest due to high blood pressure at the end of the pregnancy), and when I was in the hospital after having our daughter she was visiting us one day (we spent 15 days in the hospital - 5 before I had my daughter, and 10 after I had her) and I got up to go to the washroom and started bleeding - I was at the bathroom door, having left a huge puddle of blood and a trail of blood to the washroom - before she asked if she should maybe call one of the nurses. When we got home our daughter was colicky and we were exhausted so we called her one day to see if she could come watch our daughter for even 2 hours so we could get some sleep and not be a danger to our daughter and she told us it would have to wait a couple of days because she had to get some bulbs into her garden.
At this point my husband has told both my MIL and SILs that if he doesn't get an apology from them for things that have been said/done then they know longer have a son/brother.
Wow, serious rant there, but man did that make me feel better :)

Sheree - posted on 03/20/2010




My mother inlaw and her family have done nothing but try and ruin my relationship with my husband. We almost called of our wedding because of them, then they ruined the whole day anyway and I ended up in tears. They stopped talking to me when i miscarried, like it was all my fault. When i did finally fall pregnant they didnt want to know about the baby, so i told them they werent welcome at the hospital when the baby was born, but my hubby would take the baby round to their house when we were out of hospital. They showed up at the hospital, treated me and my family like crap and wouldnt go near my daughter. I wanted them the have a relationship with their granddaughter but they didnt, they never wanted to see her. My hubby started taking her around to their house weekly so they could see her, but they kept inviting other people that they hadnt seen in ages so they didnt have to pay any attention to our daughter, kept wearing perfume around her when they had been told she had adverse reactions to it, and made my husband feel unwelcome at his own parents home. We were then told from another family memeber that his parents had gone around telling everyone that our daughter wasnt my husbands because she didnt have red hair and everyone in his family does so she should have red hair and she also has blue eyes which no one in his family has so she coudlnt possibly be his child. At this point we decided that we are better off without them in our lives. My daughter hasnt seen them since the 5th October last year and I havent seen them since 20th june last year. My hubby can still see them any time he wants but rarely does as they treat him like dirt too. But i have to say we are the happiest we have ever been since cutting them out of my life and my duaghters :)

Sorry about the rant, but you asked, lol. :P

Grace - posted on 03/20/2010




My MIL drives me nuts! The entire time I was pregnant she demanded us to name the baby Goldie Pearl (after her mother). And after we found out the sex and named the baby Erin Hope, she would never use that name when refering to the baby. She would always call her 'girly'. She knows how much this bugs me and will STILL to this day mainly only call our 9 months old 'girly'. She does so many more annoying and belittling things than that. That was just one example. Most of them are too mean to repeat. I wish that my MIL wasn't the way she is. But oh well.

Carolee - posted on 03/20/2010




I love my MIL! She's sweet and always respects my decisions as a mother. I think it helped that she met (me and) my son when he was a year old, so there was "proof" that I was a good mom! Now, I'm expecting my second and their first biological grandchild, and they (my MIL and sis-in-law) want to throw a huge baby shower for me. They actually accept my son and I into their family with arms WIDE open! I lucked out!

[deleted account]

she is insane. I love her as a person and only realized how crazy she is now that I have a baby, and this is my conclusion...

the saying "a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife" is VERY true. there are 2 things that MIL's love and that is her son and her grandchildren...both of which belong to the DIL.

I think a lot of the time DIL's get angry with their MIL's because they give unwanted advice, and belittle them. I really don't think that MIL's do this on purpose, I do think they mean well. It is a lot easier for us to take advice from our own mothers, or other women in our family, because they are the family we grew up with. I get annoyed when my MIL does these things because deep down I don't really consider her my family...i know this sounds wrong but in my mind I am thinking "Don't tell me how to raise MY child" I tend to think that my baby is MINE and my husbands. I also have no problems acknowledging my family as my daughters family too, but for some reason I don't trust my MIL to be able to help raise MY daughter....i know this is horrible, and her kids all survived...she must have done something right because I fell in love with one.

My own family has said some pretty stupid things that I just roll my eyes at and brush it off...but if the MIL said the same thing I would get defensive.

Candice - posted on 03/20/2010




my mother in law is amazing.. even though she lives in a diffrent province she's always there to talk to ( even offers to foot the bill for the calls ) and is always checking up to see how we are doing and if theres anything she can do to help. We are going for a visit in oct for my sister-in-laws wedding and shes even said if she has any money she will send it to help get our plane tickets :)

Jen - posted on 03/20/2010




my mother drives me insane evryday shes like jen u better cover him up its cold outside like i dnt know it is. n she wont let me buy things for the house im getting soon because she dnt want us moving out.wen my sons being naughtey she will cuddle him when im trying to tell him off n show him its wrong. if anyone doesnt agree with her she wont talk to you for weeks.

Deanna - posted on 03/20/2010




I count myself lucky to have a very understanding mother-in-law, more understanding than my own mother. She was with me throughout my confinement and was a great help. I think it was the age gap, she's much younger than my mum. Think also the relationship between her n my hubby was close so it makes a difference too. She really treats me like her own daughter. I'm really grateful to have her. But I do sympathise with u as my sister has a terrible MIL who treats her like dirt n they r not in talking terms at all, luckily my BIL is understanding n side with my sis. Hope u have ur hubby's support.

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