mother of 4 feeling like giving up

Bethany - posted on 07/30/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I will try to summarize. Kids are 9, 4, 4 and 2. Boyfriend is father to youngest 3. We are currently homeless, getting evicted from his mothers. Oldest son stays with his paternal grandparents and that's fine. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar. I am just getting back into therapy and hopefully soon get medication. Boyfriend just got new job and is working
60-70 hours. Don't have much support because kids are a handful. We are headed to motel. My parents offered to help with a security deposit so we don't have to stay there but I have bad credit and an eviction from last year so don't even see us finding a place easily. Basically, I am a mess and I feel like the kids should go in foster care until we get situated. I am very emotionally unstable right now aside from our potential living conditions. CPS was already called by his mom out of spite although there were no obvious issues for them to be concerned with. I know I would risk losing them for good and am scared they could be placed with bad people. I used to be a good mom and we were never rich but had a home and everything else we needed. I've literally lost my mind and it's so hard to get through the days now. I tried to commit suicide a couple weeks ago, that's how sick I am and I am not getting any better when I have 5 people to worry about before myself. Please help me think this through. My boyfriend is the only one stopping me but he's not here to help other than paying a motel bill.

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Sarah - posted on 07/30/2015

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CPS may have been a good resource for you to get the help you need. Did you disclose your eviction and mental health issue with the investigator?

Jodi - posted on 07/30/2015

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I am incredibly concerned that you say CPS has been called by his mother out of spite, and you believe there are no obvious issues, and yet you are openly admitting you have attempted suicide and that you are incredibly emotionally unstable. You need help and support NOW or those children are potentially in a harmful situation.

Can your mother look after the children for a while so you can get yourself sorted out?

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Bethany - posted on 07/31/2015

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Yes, the investigator knows of everything. Im back in therapy and on the road back to medication which comes after so much therapy. They have helped with resources but I guess it just comes down to be being overwhelmed. I want to get better but it's going to take time. The 3 little ones do not allow for any personal time to meditate and relax. My mom could not care for them for more than maybe a day; she has made it clear she did not agree to be a babysitter so I do not ask other than for appointments. This is why I'm literally at the last resort.

Jodi - posted on 07/30/2015

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I agree with Sarah, that CPS is not just about taking your kids away, but rather a resource that can provide help and support for the family unit.

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2015

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You boyfriend is the only one stopping you form what; putting your kids in the system, or killing yourself? I don't know what to say except you need to turn to someone for help. Can you parents help care for the kids while your medication gets worked out? You say you have 5 people to worry about before yourself, but your BF can take care of himself and your eldest is with grandparents. You need to make sure you can parent safely and a motel room is not the place to raise three little kids. Have you sought housing assistance? Were you hospitalized for you suicide attempt? There must be an alternative to surrendering your children to foster care while you get your health in order.

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