mother of child moving two hours away

Tammy - posted on 09/22/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My husband has a child with a woman who he never dated. This woman had sex with him when he passed out on his sister's couch. He's never wanted a relationship with her. She proceeded to chase him and stalk him, even moving two hours to be closer to him, next door to his parents. She always held the cards with the child telling him what he could do and couldn't and he went along with it rather than have conflict. Now his daughter is 8, we're married. I have two grown children so this isn't my first rodeo. She got very mad at him and told him what a horrible dad he is. He exerted his rights and has been getting his daughter every other weekend and has always paid child support. Well now that his daughter and him are close she dropped a bomb starting she is moving back home two hours away which puts a financial hardship on us as his vehicle is not very good and he's worried about driving it that much because it could break down. Plus the gas money. We live paycheck to paycheck. This will be an extra two hundred a month in gas. He pays 165 every week in child support. We will have to probably fix his jeep but don't have the money. She won't tell him where to pick up his daughter when plans change.. She says it is his responsibility to find out where his daughter is if not at the regular place. He told her it is her responsibility to inform him when plans change so he knows where to pick her up. She is trying to create drama. She tells me he is evil and doesn't want his influence on her daughter. Our fear is she will make plans on his weekend so the visits will slowly fade away, break him. She told me she has stopped all communication with him and that's the way she wants it. So I understand his fear because I think she probably will alienate his daughter from him. I told her she has to communicate with him, the daughter needs them to fix this nonsense. It's not about either of them, it should be about the daughter. She will talk to me because she doesn't want to talk to him, I've told her this is between them. I'm very much torn because I knew she was different when I met her. You could tell she's a Lil off... Missing a few screws. No normal woman has sex with a man who is passed out, if that was a woman is called rape. He does resent her. She tried all these years to get with him. She told his dad she's loved him since age 18. She's gone to counseling over him, it's crazy because never have they dated. He always told her he didn't want her. She wouldn't give up. She worked her way into his family and friends... He really went thru some stuff because of all she's done to him. We don't have money for an attorney... What can we do?

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Dove - posted on 09/22/2014

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As Shawnn and Jodi have already stated... all he can really do it take it back to court. In some areas if you have a court order and someone is violating it the police will get involved, but not everywhere.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/22/2014

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Well, sounds like you do need to file, because as it stands, she's getting away with it. Have your husband check with his attorney

Jodi - posted on 09/22/2014

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Is it expensive to file for contempt? Because unfortunately, if she is breaching court orders, then that's really your only avenue. If you don't file, and she keeps getting away with it, she will keep doing it.

Tammy - posted on 09/22/2014

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All our stuff is taken care of in the court orders, from visitation to holidays to school breaks, everything is in them. She isn't following the court orders and we don't have the funds to take her back to court every time she is in contempt. We don't want to even have to, but she just won't be considerate. She wants to make it very difficult for him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/22/2014

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If there's no court orders, then that needs to be the first step.

Tammy - posted on 09/22/2014

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Yes we have court ordered visitation. She is suppose to give a 90 day advance notice if she moves etc which she didn't do. She is to tell my husband where their daughter is and where to pick her up if something changed and that is to be in advance as well, as soon as she knows basically so he can prepare for it as well. She isn't doing any of it and she knows he doesn't have money to take her to court

Jodi - posted on 09/22/2014

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Do you have court ordered visitation? Get those orders amended so that she can't move that far away and so that she must notify you where the child is at ALL times. This is why court orders are a good thing, because you can spell things like that out.

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