Mother's Day

Angela - posted on 05/06/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have 3 sons. My youngest one who is 24 is refusing to see me and I don't know why? He even got married in March and I was the only one not invited. I think his wife is playing somewhat of a part in this. He is on drugs. I just told him to be careful and to watch out for certain people. That is all I could do because my ex won't help or anyone in my family. They just let him get away with anything/ What do I do for Mother's Day? GEt away from home and go someplace where I don't have to think about it? Also, My oldest son who is 32 and not married just had a beautiful baby a few months ago. He and the Mother are taking very good care of her. Thee was one time she and I got into an argument and she called me a bitch and I said something like he doesn't love you.texting that is. Well, she did go away for a while when she fist found out she was pregnant and stayed gone for a long time. Now, I have seen my precious Grandaughter once since then. I think my son is afraid of her? What do I do with this one. Go over there anyway to see my Grandchild/ I have a middle son who lives quite a bit away and he chooses to stay out of it!! Help. I am miserable.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2013

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I would go see your children that actually want to see you. I would not just show up. Especially on mothers day where he will be celebrating with the mother of his children. I would also attempt to open up the lines of communication by maybe sending him a nice simple card saying that you love him and the children. that you will always be there for him when he is ready. Leave it at that.

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Jen - posted on 05/07/2013

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Step 1. Call and apologize to your sons for trying to run their lives, they are adults and can make their own decisions.
Step 2. Tell them you love them and will be there for them not matter what.
Step 3. Back off.

I know it must hurt to see your children making choices you don't approve of, but you are only driving them further away. It would help for you to see a psychologist so you can talk to someone impartial about all of this.

As for Mother's Day? Don't make a big deal out of it, go out to a movie and take a long walk. And why don't you send a nice card to the mother of your grandchild wishing her a happy mother's day? Maybe with time you can repair the rift between you two. Do it for your son and for your grandbaby.

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2013

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Like the other ladies have said, it's not child abuse as your children are adults and they are making their own choices. Yes, it's painful but you can't control their lives anymore.

The more you try and control them the further away you are going to push them. If you keep trying to run their lives you risk losing them forever. That' something you'll have to think about and weigh up.

Dove - posted on 05/06/2013

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You can not stop your ADULT child from doing drugs.... You can offer to get them help and you can call the police on them if you have evidence of drug use, but you can NOT control the actions of your adult child. You just can't.

It's not child abuse to let your adult child live their own lives. It may hurt you to watch them make a train wreck of things, but it is not child abuse and to even suggest such a thing is absurd and ignorant.

I feel for you. I really do. I have no idea what I would or would not do in your situation other than be devastated and pray, but you can't stop him. I'm sorry.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2013

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There is nothing you can do. What is it you want to do? What will work? Nothing. My sister is a mess. There is nothing any of us can do for her. She is an adult. Short of calling the cops and getting them arrested, there is nothing you can do.

Angela - posted on 05/06/2013

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What would you do if you had a child on drugs. really bad. Would you just sit there and let them use! esctasey mushrooms, salt baths, etc. If you did you would be committing child abuse no matter how old they are!!

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2013

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Your children are adults and they need to live their own life. As a Mother we need to let them go and make their own mistakes and learn from them. We can always be there to stop them getting into trouble.

I don't blame your middle son for wanting to stay out of it because that's what you should be doing. It's better off to step back and just be there if they need you. If you cut them off now then they won't come to you if they need to.

Angela - posted on 05/06/2013

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he has stolen from me too!! money and my meds. and blamed it on other people!!

Angela - posted on 05/06/2013

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i said my youngest one is on drugs and has sold too! He has dropped out of his last semester of college. He has slept with at least one other girl while he is engaged to his wife now. I wanted to try and get him help. but everyone got mad at me including his dad. who threatened me.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/06/2013

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Oh, and don't drag your other children in the middle of it. I am sure you must have some indication of why your son is not talking to you. There is a reason. Maybe you are not seeing it, or choosing to ignore how you may have hurt him in some way.

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