Mother's Day I was forgotten

Mary F - posted on 05/11/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have 2 children a 23 yr old son Joey,and a 13 yet old daughter, Melodie, both of which I love so much! I must admit I'm not the perfect mom however I was far from perfect. I was a young mom, still a kid myself when I had Joey, I needed to find a sitter to celebrate my 21st bday. I made many mistakes and wrong choices which caused me to be out of Joey's life for several years on and off. I struggled with addiction for quite a few years. That caused me to be labeled as a rotten person . I hate myself for the choices I made and I really didn't understand why couldn't get it right, if it wasn't for my own mother I probably would've lost my children long time ago luckily I had her to pick up my responsibilities. Unfortunately my mother was diagnosed with cancer and soon afterwards I lost her. By then I kind of grew up for the most part but Joey was already 12 and had a little sister melodie that was 2... Beings that I was put down pretty much my whole life Not just by the man I loved and father of my children I pretty much inherited a label for myself , even aunts, uncles cousins were sick of me...Since my children seen and heard nothing really ever good about me they never reared me with respect and love that normal moms get.... For many years I tried so hard to earn that love and respect back but it seems unfixable.. There was a time in my life when my son didn't even talk to me which hurt so bad I didn't even want to live anymore.... I did change my life and gained several years of sobriety but still the relationships with my children were not right.... Till this day I hold allot of stress and pain and regrets I do have my son and daughter in my life however I don't have the respect that I deserve. Iwish I could erase the choices that I've made that got me in this Situation but I can't! Hurts my heart so bad and just the thing today on Mother's Day I didn't even get a happy Mother's Day

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D - posted on 05/11/2014

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One way to look at it (the way I do) is that the choices we have previously made were right at the moment we made them. Put all the choices you would do differently in an imaginary box and place the box outside your door. Take them out of your head. As I see it, it is not helpful to look at those, because they are the past. Be your wonderful self now, and be understanding at the disrespect others give. Be joyful in that you are currently replacing your addiction with something else and that your habit is dormant. This is huge. I am a habit change mentor. Keep going, and if you fall, get up. It is truly hard to handle the disrespect. By being loving and not defensive, you have the opportunity to give love and earn respect. You are stronger than you know. Good luck.

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