Jermaine - posted on 03/14/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
I am 29 years old and a mother of two girls; a 10 year old which I gave birth to as a teenager, I have custody of her but she sees her Dad a few times a year because he doesn't live in town. My other daughter is almost 3, her father has tried twice to get shared custody but the judge gave him specified access during two days of the week. He was ordered to pay $95 bi weekly child support which he hasn't paid and to pay half of her child care costs which he has recently started paying. Since we've split he has lost his job, and moved in with his girlfriend's parents. I've since gotten married, I am now pregnant with my third child, I work full time, my husband and I are buying our first home and soon moving out of our apartment.
For 6 months after my ex and I split he had nothing to do with our daughter and did not help provide for her financially but filed for shared custody when I filed for child support. All this time I've been paying $250 a week for my daughters babysitter costs (up until about a month ago, he now pays half). Drug and alcohol abuse are part of why I left him and it's been rumoured that him and his girlfriend still do drugs but I have no way of proving it especially where it's cocaine. I also caught him out to the bar when he was supposed to be caring for our daughter and he got his mother to babysit. He also asked to take her to a family supper on 'my time' which I said yes to but he didn't pick her up and lied about why he didn't show up.
I am nervous about when my ex has my daughter, her sister misses her so much, and so do my husband and I. I could care less about the money, clearly I don't need his help financially to raise her but I'm soooo worried that he will get shared custody! I do want her to have a relationship with her Dad but he often harasses me when I have no choice but to be in contact with him, I've had to change my number once and now have him blocked on my phone. I suggested parental counselling for us but his girlfriend insisted I was being an overbearing bitch. I don't know what else to do to try and be civil. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Am I right to feel the way that I do or should I be more lenient to just giving him shared custody although I really don't feel that he is ready for it?