Motherless Stepmom of 3...I Feel Like Giving Up!!!!

Latonia - posted on 09/05/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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So glad I found this site, I've been going bonkers!

Nearly 5 yrs ago, I met my husband (1 yr AFTER his belated was deceased). I walked in to a broken family, (2 girls: 8 and 10) and a my husband was also raising his stepson then 14.

Fast forward.....the first year was great...the moment my husband proposed to me, the 14 yr old stepson turned into a disrespectful little b*&^$!d. The look on his face was of pure hate, he's now 19....he and I do not talk AT ALL. He eats, sleep and sh*t...that's it. He doesn't help out he says two phrases. "What's Up Dad?" or "I'm outside" My husband doesn't have any say or control all he does is sit there, stare at him and shake his head.

The girls are okay, typical...they call me Mommie (which I loatheeeeee; I hate it). The moment I tell them to do something, they typically do it but if they don't ..."I turn up"; when I do...they run to daddy and he does NOTHING.

The point here is, once we were married the deal was wait until he graduate from high school then we'll move; "just you and the girls". That NEVER happened. The boy got retained, my husband had back surgery so now I'm to sole provider and I'm stuck in the most horrific state; I mean coming in the house was wayyyyyy tooo overwhelming, this filthy nasty a** house, I just wanna take a torch to it....it's VERY BAD!!!! (THIS IS NOT the way we planned it). I thought ok, I'll move in, have 1 set of bills (mind you, my house and car was paid for; I own my own business and I had my own money saved), but bc I am so loving and giving (my family says I'm weak) but I started off buying them the world, clothes, shoes, groceries, plays, LOTS of vacations and I even bought my husband a Truck (CASH!) Now, he says I'm cheating on him, (who the hell does that? Think I'm going to invest in you and your kids; spend thousands of dollars to cheat on my investment? (Another headache for another day ladies)....fast forward, I want out. I recently STOPPED doing things for them bc as I keep saying I don't reward failure; why should I keep giving and giving and you guys can't do 1 thing I ask? I've NEVER asked my husband for anything except to MAKE THEM KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN......I see tooth floss on the stairs, milk droppings all of the floors, can't find a single damn spoon or fork or bowl in the ENTIRE HOUSE so I now keep my stash of plastics.....you have crap floating in their toliets, they won't fold a damn shirt to save their lives they are all (including my husband) FILTHY!!!!!!! I'm not OCD but I would like to come home from work JUST ONCE in 5 years to a house that's clean. Twice, I've found caught my husband on craigslist (bast*rd!) I forgave him..... but he's on their again emailing prostitutes? "Damnit...again????!!! Really??? I'm so direspected here and I sold my house bc he wasn't working, I'm running out of money so fast bc my business is slow...and I just feel STUCK!!!!!! DEPRESSED, LONELY and just broken....I know I should leave but this is my 2nd marriage so I reallllllyyyy wanted this to work. Now, I stay in a 1 room that's clean and away form them. Now, I'm called "CRAZY" accused of having multiple personalities and the girls feel like they don't have to do any chores. If I get upset with them, he gets upsets with my and doesn't want to give me sex, he won't get them in control so when I say something, I'm crazy....I just want OUT bc I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

Now, he's come into money from his back surgery and now the basta*d is saying, "you've been saying that you're getting an apartment for years....do it then...." Ungrateful B*sta*d.

I need a break, but I feel so guilty bc the yougest girl will cry until she sees me again and they've lost their BIO MOM but damn it! I shouldn't have to live in slum....it's really F'd up bc they don't give a crap about how this all affects me emotionally....5 years!!!!! I've had the SAME AND ONLY COMPLAINT...they will never change. Sick of seeing cake mix under the mattress, trash on the floors and they walk pass it like it's a f'n piece of furniture. The sink doesn't have a base it's just concrete. The microwave looks like someone vomited in it and they always want to feed me....I NEVER EAT bc if the house is disgusting the cooking is too. I've tried sooooooooooo many times to train them and clean but enough is enough damn it, I'm not Hazel.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sue - posted on 09/09/2016

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God can do all things...and He wants our marriages and relationships to grow ...
I will pray with you on this!

11 Comments

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Amy - posted on 09/10/2016

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The father of the boy abandoned him when he was 3 her mom passed away step dad keep him

Amy - posted on 09/10/2016

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She is lying she cant tell the true ask for the past five years how many times she got upset she gone when she came back she said oh i got a hotel room i stay there really if the husband said don't do it again ask here if she stop doing it?

Amy - posted on 09/10/2016

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That's very funny She said that she's this is a second marriage actually that a lie she married 5 times. She said she's not OCD she is because and she knew it. She said husband is not cleaning ask her how many times she clean the toilet she scared of her own crap when I have to clean it after her . She said she never eat that a lie but it's ok because I been cooking for 5 years .Coming online talking crap about your husband is not the solution and don even have the courage to tell whole truth just don't do if you seeking for help you cant tell the true so don't do it . All my wife does be on her phone and the computer all nigh she said I dont give her sex where she never have time I can remember the last time I tried we started suddenly she said my computer is on will finish it later really what woman does? She said she was the sole provider that's a lie she moved with us we didnt have a mortgage the house was pay for . I was hurt at work I had W/C a have a check every week I wasn't working but i bring in the table over $ 2000 . My wife want to make me look bad but she cant admit that she has problem . She did buy a truck but the truck on her name which I not consider my mine if you buy me something why it's on your name? I had my wife name on my account before we got married so she can do things for my kids because i didnt want her to spend her own money , I trusted her before we got even engage . Now we been together for 5 years she had 3 or 4 bank accounts I dont have my name in none of the ZERO why she so secretive about her bank really why while your name on mine? The step son issue is true . I been cooking feeding her ass for her to come online saying all that lies really hurt me . She is a great woman but with a lot of issues her temper she cant control that . she said she feel like just burn that house because is not hers pus she been living on it for 5 years now she feel that way about it . I am the 5 husbands i guess I am just of her number .

Latonia - posted on 09/08/2016

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Right. Next stop counseling then if that doesn't work. I'll be like Joy Behar, married living in separate homes. Thx ladies.

Latonia - posted on 09/08/2016

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No, the girls are his biologically. The stepson us his belated' son.
When she passed, he just continued to care for him.

Sue - posted on 09/08/2016

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I am so sorry for your situation. Do you think your husband would go to counseling together? Perhaps you could find a good counselor to help you. ( There are counselors at this number if you don't have one 855-382-5433)
(I love your last comment about not being "Hazel"!! You have a sense of humor even in this situation!)
There is always hope, and it sounds like your husband doesn't know how to deal with any of the confrontation...even yours. You have viable reasons for him to step up too...and he obviously hasn't been willing....or KNOW How to ...so maybe counseling would help?
Praying for swift help and change!

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2016

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I agree with the other ladies.
They won't change so it's your choice. Just because it's your 2nd marriage doesn't mean you have to stay and be miserable. You are allowed to be happy. A lot of 2nd marriages don't work out, actually more than 1st marriages.

Ev - posted on 09/05/2016

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I agree with Dove and where is the bio father in this? Why is the step dad getting custody of the kids? You are not really even the step mother.

Dove - posted on 09/05/2016

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*....5 years!!!!! I've had the SAME AND ONLY COMPLAINT...they will never change.

Yep. They won't. Staying or not is your choice, but if nothing has changed for 5 years... it's not likely to ever change and you have shown them so far that you will keep tolerating the situation.

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