mothers in law

MaryAnn - posted on 03/30/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

347

0

17

I've cut mine out of my life. She is a narcissist and her being around makes parenting my children effectively impossible. I'm keeping the flying monkeys at bay, and she is, when given the wiggle room, trying to pull me back into her narrative.
It's getting to me today. I shouldn't let it. She dug her grave,
She texted me today, and I am not going to respond. I suppose a part of me feels sorry that she is so bored and lonely that she needs to do this for human attention.
Any other moms have to set tough boundaries in place?

6 Comments

View replies by

MaryAnn - posted on 04/01/2016

347

0

17

I had to step back from her. She really manipulated her way into every aspect of my life- my relationship with my husband, my kids, and their relationship with eachother. She did this under the guise of being helpful- to each one of them while turning me into the problem. She gave my husband the illusion of solely providing for every one, while I was being 'lazy' on mat leave from work paying debts incurred while he was laid off with my ei, needing his help domestically from time to time... she gave my daughter an authority over me (the stricter parent), and withheld any attention from my son in my daughters presence- of course while there were no visitors. I told her what needed to be fixed- a run down on where the boundaries are, and more specifically, where they were not. I had my husband have that talk with her a number of times beforehand. It was the first time I said anything. She blew a gasket, swore at me a bit. We moved out immediately, almost. She hasnt spoken to me since. Until yesterday.
My husband asked for her help, storing a few things, something I had no idea about as I was not allowed on property to know what was left behind... Something that needed to be done that day-because she was moving. And she contacted me, knowing I couldnt do anything about it without time to arrange moving large, heavy objects, or having a place to store them while we wait for our place to be ready. She put me in a situation where if I didnt beg, or grovel at her feet, appologize for leaving a toxic situation, all while being attacked, she would let my husband down. Were I to not accept being attacked, she would let my husband down. As I said... I had no idea he asked her for help. He told me not to worry about it- it is taken care of. And he was unavailable to help- it needed to be done NOW, and he was at work, where he doesn't answer his phone.
So. I arranged an alternate solution, one where I didnt have to be on property, while hubby was at work- it couldn't wait. One where she couldnt attack me.
So. She attacked my help, and invited them into our little drama. She hasn't told him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/31/2016

13,211

21

2014

Yes, but unfortunately my boundaries are with my mom, not MIL.

Hugs, MaryAnn!

Raye - posted on 03/31/2016

3,761

0

21

MaryAnn, my MIL is a very controlling woman. She "means well" a lot of the time, but they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. She goes about things in such a way that she makes people not want to be around her. She treats her husband like a child. She wants everything by her rules. My husband and I got married without her knowing because she would have tried to involve herself in everything from the preparations to officiating the ceremony (she's a minister). I put up with things to a point, but I do have boundaries. She will not get away with trying to bulldoze me. Stay strong! It's not wrong to limit the drama you accept from others. If you don't want to be sucked back in to that tornado, then keep your feet planted.

MaryAnn - posted on 03/30/2016

347

0

17

Welcome to Circle of Moms is the most active wall. Its a good place for pretty much any kind of mom stuff. There should be a button that says "start a conversation." clicking it will give you a place to put in a topic, and a second place to put your question/story. When its all filled, hit post. ONCE. I dont know if anyone has the same issue, but sometimes the screen doesnt clear, so it doesnt "feel" posted. But it was.

Jeanne - posted on 03/30/2016

21

0

2

Where can I post on here with questions or advice I would love and appreciate so much about my marriage? !!!!! I'm nine months pregnant with my fourth child! All children are from my husband.....I just feall Miserable and alone and not sure where to even post about marriage on here.......!!!!!!!!

Jeanne - posted on 03/30/2016

21

0

2

Oops! OK sorry I did get to read the rest..... I actually should ask if I am missing something before I respond??? Thanks!!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms