Move me and the kids in with boyfriend?

Marie - posted on 10/13/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi Moms! My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now. He has two kids that live with their mother but visit some weekends and at least 5 weeks during the summer and I have two kids that live with me full-time. Their biological father is not involved. Over the past 3 years we have taken trips together as a group (both of our kids), we've spent Christmas together and multiple other holidays, birthday's and sporting events everything is shared. We are all very acquainted with each other. Over the years however, we've always done activities and spent nights at his home. He has a 3 bedroom home. My daughter's in the past have sometimes slept in the room with his daughter which she is 4 years older or slept on his pull out couch in the den. We've talked about moving in together and buying a house in the next 3 years that will be 5 bedrooms. We need time to financially prepare for this purchase. But right now, he doesn't want to make the move to move in with us which I believe is more accommodating as his kids live with their mother and only visit from time to time. I have a 3 bedroom home as well and my girls are allowed their own room with their own space. At his home, his son has his own room and his daughter hers. Yes, they are allowed to play in his kids room but as time is going by his children are growing into teenagers and they want a certain kind of space from my smaller children whenever they do come. I love the idea of him moving in with us because my girls will continue to have their own space and enjoy their own beds. Moving in with him means they'll have to use his kids room for the time being until they come to visit or they'll continue to have to sleep on his pull out couch. HE WON"T BUDGE! He is comfortable staying at his home even with it not being able to fully accommodate me and my girls with space. Do we continue to live apart until we can purchase a bigger home or do I keep forcing my opinion on him to move in with us. I told him when his children come to visit we will gladly spend those few nights at his home but not on a permanent basis.


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Sarah - posted on 10/13/2016




I agree with Ev. The problem still exists if they move to your home, just now they no longer have their home, their space, or their rooms. That does not seem fair to his children. They need a home they can call theirs even if they are not there as often as yours are. Not just a room they are sleeping in in someone else's home. Just as your kids need a home that is theirs and a room that is theirs not just a place they are sleeping in while there.

Ev - posted on 10/13/2016




I would not force the choice on him. He may not be ready to fully m move in yet and maybe the kids are not either. Though it may be more convenient, if he moved in with you where would his nearly teenage kids sleep or have space to themselves? See that would be the same problem if you moved to his house.

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