Moving to Australia with Boyfriend, what will Dad say?

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

I am 22 years old have have a Daughter who will be four in May. Me and her Dad used to be together (quite young at the time) and we split up when i was only a few months pregnant.

When my daughter was three months old I start going out with my now boyfriend. We will be together four years in August. He is going to Australia for nine months. It is something I wanted to do but neven thought about it until he said. During the Christmas break I will go over with my Daughter for two weeks.

If things looked good over there, with a great school for her and a good job for me, I would consider coming back home until she finishes her first year in school and then moving over there with my boyfriend. If it comes to this how am I supposed to tell her Dad that this is what I want? I know i would be taking her away from him but I would also be taking her away from my own family.

At the moment him (when he is there) picks her up from school three times a week and spends around three hours on them days seeing her. She also stays up there every three weeks just overnight. I know its not as easy as saying just come over and visit or we can use Skype. Anyone ever in this position before? HELP!!


Carolyn - posted on 04/11/2011




You need to speak to a lawyer to see if you can even do this legally.

And if you can, what are the implications, I know in some places, if you move your Daughter out of state /country, you are responsible to cover the travel costs to either get your child to the other parent, or bring the other parent to your child for visitation. Is that something you will be able to afford ?

You also realize you cant just up and move to these places, you have to immigrate, or at the very least get temporary resident and work visas, which I am sure, Dad will have to sign off on her application.

You are best to talk to her father now, about even just the idea that this is something you are considering exploring. And find out upfront if this is something he is going to let you do, or fight you tooth and nail on.

You need to be open with your ex, because legally, this might not even be an option for you. So instead of going, falling in love and getting your hopes up and filling your daughters head with ideas, you know what is what from the get go.

Gwen - posted on 04/11/2011




In most areas, you need written/notarized letter from the other parent giving permission for you to take the child out of the country. I'd suggest checking with your lawyer.

Also, it is very important to look past what "you" want and consider what is best for you child, her family, father, etc. There are lots of things I'd love to do for myself (career change, etc.) but realize that it is not in the best interest of my child at this time. I will wait until she is older to pursue them.

Louise - posted on 04/11/2011




You need to tell him what you intend on doing as he sounds as if he wants to be in his daughters life. This is going to be a hell of a shock as he is attatched to this little girl. I am not sure what the law is on this so seek some legal advice. Handled properly this could be an amazing experience for all of you, but he really needs to be kept in the picture here he is about to lose everything he has with his daughter and his feelings should be considered.


View replies by

[deleted account]

Carolyn is right. I know this because my hubby and I are trying to move our family from California to Australia right now and we have to go to the family court to get permission for our move (our oldest is my stepdaughter who lives with us full time and has little to no contact with her biological mother). We are in the process right now (waiting for mediation and the court date to come up) and it's annoying to say the least (and we even have the bio mom who almos tnever has contact!). For us, my hubby got a great job opportunity there and we spent a whole year looking at all our options and have decided that it is our first choice of life plans.

In our proposal to the court, we had to address travel costs if the bio mom ever wanted to come out for visitations and we agreed to pay half of the plane ticket IF the plane ticket was bought at least a month in advance (if it was bought less than a month in advance we would only be responsible for the cost of a ticket bought a month in advance to travel time since the cost can vary).

I think you need to really think about this from your daughter's point of view. Her father has a very active role in her life (and yes, if you are in the US he CAN have you court ordered to not make the move and if you try to move against a court order it would be kidnapping). I think a very frank sit-down discussion needs to be had between all the adults and it needs to happen NOW before any decisions are made.

Theresa - posted on 04/11/2011




You're going to have to get the father's permission. In the US you cannot get a passport for a child without BOTH parents signing for it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms