Moving with teens....help!!!!!!

Sherylee - posted on 09/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Advice pleeeease! I have 3 children ages 13, 14 and 16. My fiancée moved for work about 2 months ago ( he is not the biological father ) and I believe I have finally found employment. I will also say that this place of relocation is where my children's grandparents reside as well. My youngest son sees this move as an adventure however my 14 year old daughter has gone off the chain. I have always made it very clear that I do not like nor do I plan to stay where we have been living ( where they have grown up )....my father is 83 and I would love the opportunity to spend sometime with him and not to mention my fiancée of 5 years now works there. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle my daughters threats such as " I will hate you forever if you make me leave my friends, I will never speak to you again, I will find a foster family or you will have to pay for me to stay at my bf house because I am not going!!!!!!" Just to name a few. Their father is not in their lives and although there is a court order prohibiting him from any access ( due to abuse) she is even threatening to call him!! I am sick about this.....I don't want my kids to feel I am being selfish but I have a much better job offer, family and a fiancée and one daughter who now hates me......should I just stay or go? Do I honor my relationship with my fiancée and know we can give the kids a better life or do I put my daughters need for her friends first? Any advice sooooo appreciated.

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Michelle - posted on 09/27/2014

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I think you need to sit them down and have a rational discussion. Be empathetic about their feelings but let them know that the move is best for the family. Try and stay calm when they make their threats but also let them know that as they are minors they can't say what happens for the family. I wouldn't make the focus on your Fiance, I would be focusing on having your parents around and whatever else the area has to offer.
It's not a "need" for your daughter to have her friends around, she will easily make new ones. Yes she will be said to leave but in this day and age with technology, friends can still stay close on the other side of the world!!! That's just an excuse because she is scared. You need to be kind and listen to her but also let her know that it won't be as bad as she thinks.

Sherylee - posted on 09/27/2014

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I should also mention my 16 year old is not happy either but more open than my daughter.....

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