Mum of narcissistic daughter

Hellen - posted on 02/28/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, I'm in Australia but I'm sure the situation is the same wherever you are. My 27yo daughter has cut me off again after I disagreed with a hurtful accusation she made to me. I have 2 grandchildren she will not allow me to see and I'm devastated even though she's done this many times before. I keep hoping she had changed and she fools me for a while because I can't accept the truth. My other daughter has cut her off due to many years of abuse by her and she couldn't risk her children being mistreated. We have diagnosed her but of course we have no medical degree and she would never accept any responsibility for her behaviour. Do I just accept that I will never have a relationship with her and my grandchildren or do I suck it up for the grandchildrens sake?

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MaryAnn - posted on 02/28/2016

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Narcissism is the only disorder where you leave the patient alone and treat everyone else. First things first- educate yourself about it. About narcissism itself, the behaviours like triangulation etc... About no contact and limited contact. I had a narcissist in my life, and I wont give you many details because every narcissist is different... But here is what is important.
You need to take care of yourself.
If you decide to give up on a relationship with your daughter, remember that her kids will grow up, and theres nothing stopping you from saving your affections for them then.
You cant change your daughter. The time is long over for that.

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Sharon - posted on 03/10/2016

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Hellen,
I have just realized my adult daughter (27) is a full blown narcissist and I was deceived by her lies and manipulation. The latest was a horrific rage she inflicted upon me and I saw a very scary side of her that now makes me realize I need to go No Contact. My granddaughter will forever be used as a Tool, and her and her husband will always want money from us or gifts to prove love. Write back Hellen! We can help build each other up during this time of sadness....

MaryAnn - posted on 02/28/2016

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Triangulation is when something should be communicated between two people, but there is a go between. Clasically, the persecutor claims to be the victim, and a rescuer persecutes the real victim. Google it, there are people who can explain different scenarios much better than I can.

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