Mum wants to come back after leaving her family

Dilesh - posted on 06/17/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a 32 old dad with 2 daughters (6 and 4). My wife decided to walk out in February 2016. For the past 1.5 our relationship was broken, no communication. She even did not want to take the kids out anywhere. I had to do everything. After 4 months of leaving, she has realised that she made the biggest mistake of her life and wants to come back. My love, trust and respect has all gone. How can I trust her again? She says that she has changed, she a better person now, that she will love her kids. I don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.

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Michelle - posted on 06/17/2016

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I agree with Jodi, go to couples counselling to help you decide if you can build your trust in her again or separate and divorce.
Once trust is broken it's very hard to get it back again and I personally couldn't be with someone who just walked out.
Don't think about meeting someone else yet and having a "step mum" for your children, you have a lot to sort out first.
One thing I will say is that you really need to be honest with your children. They know when things aren't right and lying is one thing you don't want them to learn to do.

Jodi - posted on 06/17/2016

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I think you are getting way ahead of yourself if you are thinking of step mums already. It's too soon to consider that.

Much of your reasoning is actually a really good reason to have some couples counselling, because then, even if it doesn't work out, a counsellor can help you both wit making this work for the children in the best way possible.

Dilesh - posted on 06/17/2016

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Thanks for the advise. Fortunately, the kids don't know what's happening. I have told them that mummy gone to look after her parents. They remember her everyday day and face time her 2 a week. I don't know how to break it to them. In the back if my mind I am thinking that if we don't get back together and I find someone else, will step mum be the same?

Jodi - posted on 06/17/2016

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Perhaps the two of you should seek counselling together before you make any decisions about this one way or the other? This will help you with determining if this is really a good idea or not. The last thing you want to do is put the kids through more upheaval than they already have had, and that's what will happen if it doesn't work out.

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