Mums using children to get at the dad!

Melanietitley - posted on 04/30/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Is it right that mums use children to get at dads?! Why is it some women say the children are theirs, when in reality children have come from 2 people. Yes us mums carried the babies, but my children and no more mine than their fathers. I hate women who make the father stick to this, that and the other or otherwise they will stop the dad seeing the kids. They have no right to do so. Mums who put their own thoughts and feelings first don't deserve to have children, the children should always come first and hiding behind them and using them for the mums own selfish gain is disgusting!

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Michelle - posted on 05/03/2011

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kids may have come form both parents but that doesn't mean that the father participated in their upbringing or other areas of their life. when the mother has done 99 percent of the child rearing and other responsibilities i dont think fathers should expect to be able to ahve the same rights . especially when they coema nd go as they please in kids lives. if the fahter is actually a good father and youare not together due to relationship issues then yes he should be able to see the child often and be a big par tof the childs life.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2011

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Yep. I hate it when dads use children to get to the mums too.

I can see that there ARE circumstances under which the safety of the child may be of concern, but that's abotu the best interests of the child. But when he's a good dad and she's a good mum, they just don't like each other, neither has any right to use the children to manipulate or hurt the other parent.

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Erica - posted on 05/03/2011

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the only reason a father should be kept from their child (unless he doesnt want to know them) s if they are a danger to the child and/or mother... other then that i find it disgusting that someone would use their kids like that!

Andrea - posted on 05/03/2011

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I don't get it either. These fathers were good enough to make a baby with, but not worth participating in the child's life? A child is the child of both the mother and the father...not one over the other.

Martina - posted on 05/03/2011

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The children don't belong to either parent ... they are human beings ... not part of the furniture .... my sons father had nothing to do with any part of raising our child ... but it took both of us to make this child .. so he doesn't belong to either parent ... both need to remember that we are lucky to have these children in our lives .. not to be used as pawns in adult games

Melanietitley - posted on 05/03/2011

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The father of my children has walked away and refuses to have anything to do with them, but that still doesn't mean they are my children, they are still both of ours.

I am talking more of women who do the whole do as I say or else you wont see MY children. This is against a dad who has always been there for his and always will be, he is a good dad and a good man and she is using the children to control him and his future life!

She imo doesn't deserve to call herself a mother, nor does anyone else who can use their children in this way!

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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My son has always been mine. His father didn't want to participate in his life and even moved out of state to dodge child support. Now that he will have a step-father officially next year, he is ours. Not bio-dad, but step-dad's. Even if he never officially adopts our son, they will always belong to each other.
Being a mother and using the children as leverage isn't right, but claiming them as yours when that really is the case is another discussion.

Amber - posted on 05/03/2011

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@ Michelle, that's why I said when they are good dads :) I agree that if any parent isn't around, then they shouldn't have the same rights.

Melanietitley - posted on 05/02/2011

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I too won't post my full feelings on the subject as I am sure if I did I would then get banned!!

Firebird - posted on 05/01/2011

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I'm not going to really post my feelings on kids being used as pawns as this is something I feel very strongly about. That being said my girl's dad (my ex) is doing his laundry at my house as we speak. So I think it's quite clear where I stand on that. Separated parents should make every effort to at least be civil to each other for the sake of the kids.

[deleted account]

Wow..... Someone sure pissed you off. Can't say I know any women like what you are talking about.... Of course, I AM the only divorced mother that I personally know.... ;)

Melanietitley - posted on 04/30/2011

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Bitter twisted women thats what they are!

What they fail to realise is that the children will one day understand what has been done to their dad and turn against their mum!

But hey as long as the mum is happy in the short term!! I don't get it!

Amber - posted on 04/30/2011

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It drives me crazy when women come between children and their fathers when the men are good dads. I understand it when they have safety concerns, but otherwise they need to suck it up and realize their children are only 50% theirs.

How would they feel if the dad got custody and made them jump through hoops for visitation? They'd be jumping up and down screaming to see their children!

Some women need to wise up and put their kids needs before their petty revenge tactics.

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