my 10 has a attitude problem

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016 ( 23 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 10 now I'm 37 years old. And very hard to handle her all i want her to be happy. And she happy. One day and the next she mad. And idk she she just wont listen to me at all she been doing it since 4 years old she been spoiled but not from me. Everybody else but she wan to be 20 years old no don't want her to rush I want her to be a kid. But alot to say but. I just don't know. How to handle. 10 year old. She get mad over everything.:-(

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Jodi - posted on 09/11/2016

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You shouldn't need to hit a 10 year old. If you have to hit a 10 year old, then you need to find more tools for your parenting toolbox. Sorry, but I will absolutely disagree with you that hitting her would be in any way appropriate.

Jodi - posted on 09/11/2016

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Spanking isn't necessary!

What this child needs are very clear and consistent boundaries and consequences for her behaviour. Remove privileges. Find her currency and use it. For instance, you can cut her TV time out, or no going to friends places, etc. Also make sure you reward when she has been showing positive behaviour. As an example, if she has been really great all week, you can surprise her with getting her nails done or taking her to a movie, or just doing something fun together. But make sure each and every single time she decides to act poorly, you respond with a consequence. Sure, at first she will not take kindly to it at all, but you need to stick to it. Eventually she will get the message.

Susan - posted on 09/14/2016

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I hear you. Seems once my dd hit 13, her attitude toward me as well as herself changed, and not in a good way. Those middle school years were very, very rough on both of us. And the eye-rolling attitude she had developed. I had, foolishly thought this was something kids just did on tv or in movies. Oh no. I was wrong. The sad part was that I began to doubt myself as a mom, but eventually decided that this was a phase thing and tightened down on her allowable behavior at home.
She eventually out grew it, but in all honesty, those middle-school years were the worst.

Susan - posted on 09/13/2016

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Having a child not listen to their parent is not fun at all. Perhaps she needs to know her boundaries. For example. If you ask her to put away her shoes and she says no. Then give her a choice. She can put away her shoes and do something positive for her or have her do something she likes to do; or, if she chooses not to put away her shoes, she will lose a privilege/something she enjoys doing.

There are some really good books on parenting and the use of boundaries online and maybe at the library. I have used the boundary method with my daughter and have found that it does work.

Dove - posted on 09/11/2016

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In addition to Jodi's suggestions... if you can catch her before she 'has an episode'... or at the very beginning of one.. you can suggest to her that she go chill out in her room reading, listening to music, drawing, doing a puzzle... whatever calm activity she enjoys.

The hormones at 10 are pretty wicked, but it will get easier on both of you if you can help her learn to identify when she is going to lose control BEFORE it happens and she can remove herself from the situation until she is calm enough to deal w/ it.

Hang in there! It kind of helps if you look at preteens as overgrown toddlers cuz while they 'should' know better and oftentimes do... the hormones can take over sometimes. Just think to if you have ever snapped at someone simply because you were suffering from PMS. ;) lol

And it seems to not need to be said anymore... but 10 is definitely too old to spank. :)

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Michelle - posted on 09/14/2016

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Yeah sux. And I was told it gonna get worse. But I was never like that in my age I was quiet. 10 or 9 years old. But I I kno when I was teen then i start.but I hope she not to bad thoug but she does roll her eyes and he gives u the evil eye I'm like realy.

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2016

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Thank u very much for yr help.and advice. I usually do that with her. BC I kno she getting to that age where she want to push mommy buttons over the top. But she has her bad dats and has her good days . But I kno she turning in to a teen fast. I want her to slow down..💘 I'm just taken it day by day. But yes she need boundaries.I talk to everyday about it.

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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I know I hate being tough on her but I kno u have to be I love my daughter. With everything. I got. She the reason I breath. I do anything for her. But yeah she got her hormones starting up BC she starting to ask questions bout certain things..she in school she does hip hop dancing and tap. She very active. But I can only do so much if I drove it be very easy. But hard BC I dont drive anywhere. I would take her places like the libaray mall park just a walk. Somewhere

Jodi - posted on 09/11/2016

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Michelle, just remember that there is the chance she has started with the puberty hormones and that can result in a little moodiness. I have an 11 year old daughter who is a bit up and down at times, but she knows now that attitude will get her nowhere fast, and that if she manages her moods, we generally end up having her favourite thing of all - family movie night with a movie of her choice every second Saturday night (complete with pizza and treats in front of the TV). If she was revolting and misbehaving, it would never happen and she knows it. If she does have an episode, she can go and be moody in her room and come out when she feels she can be an actual human being, at which point she generally apologises and will have a discussion about it. One off episodes wouldn't be unusual in a hormonal pre-teen. But all the time would result in some pretty tough consequences around here, but I can't even tell you the last time I had to be that tough on her.

Claire - posted on 09/11/2016

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If you are replying to me, can you please reply in "messages"? It will fill up the whole thread and make it harder for others to respond

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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Yeah I norally award her like playing with her cousin are the park or getting something at the store she likes. And just last night since she was good we went ot a wrestling match. I one she likd that she was happy

Claire - posted on 09/11/2016

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are you replying to what i sent? if you are, can you reply directly so it doesn't fill up the whole thread?

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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I normally take her bike away from or her play phone she has. Or i take things away

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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Of course but she a good kid though. Very close to her. She always happy when we are together always

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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Thank u Jodie thanks u. Yeah she been spanked when she a lil younger but I barley. Did it.

Claire - posted on 09/11/2016

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If she has been spanked before, my opinion is that a spanking can be one of those "consequences". I agree with everything else you said though.

Claire - posted on 09/11/2016

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have you spanked her before? If you haven't in the past it might be too hard to start at 10.

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