My 10 y/o daughter opened Instagram and Facebook - help!

Kelly - posted on 03/16/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is turning 11 in May and she is in 5th grade. Recently, I found out that she opened both social media websites - Facebook and Instagram - without my permission because she knew that I would've said no.
She and a group of other girls who are also in 5th grade each opened their accounts in the public library when one of the girl's teen brother took them their about three weeks ago. Unfortunately, he didn't pay attention to what these lovely ladies were doing without their parents. I found out when one of the girl's parents found out because it turns out one of her friends tried to log in on Instagram, her mother was smart enough to check 'history', and she called me and my husband about their social media antics.
I grounded my daughter for what she did, made her apologize, no fun activities, and had a LONG talk about pedophiles and predators. I viewed her account before making her delete it. One picture was a picture of her and two of her friends, and she started adding some boys in her grade and the 5th graders starting commenting about "boyfriends". I noticed she followed an account called "someone_is_ugly" and it had a picture of one of the girls and users wrote cyberbullying comments about the poor student.
On the other hand, on Facebook, it was easy because she didn't make her account private so i didn't even have to find her from her friends - everything was public, and she started friending former students who used to attend her K-5 elementary school. Eventually, these middle and high schoolers were former students whom she knows, but lots of inappropriateness going on! These kids have been total drama on Facebook, and lots of groups called "I hate so and so". Please comment below, I deleted both accounts and now she might just open new social media sites.

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Kelly - posted on 03/16/2015

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We created a password and the computer is in the living room. She has no access to it, and she has no mobile phone, smartphone, whatever, etc.
i didn't know this kind of thing would happen to my daughter. I teach 6th-7th grade at another middle school and yes, secret Instagrams tend to be around a lot. They tend to keep their accounts private, in case their parents look them up but unfortunately they're not very smart at keeping it private because the parents find out anyway with lots of ways such as looking up a friend, mutual friends and looking at the computer history..

[momoftwo] - posted on 03/16/2015

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I don't have much advice but I would definitely put a password on your computer at home that only you and your husband would know. No contact with her friends after school and no phone for a while. (besides school, I was a teen that would talk to my friends at school anyway lol). And continue to talk to her about cyber bullying...etc. I know that when my children are older and start going through all of that stuff I will be showing them the "Amanda Todd" story. So sad :(

One thing I would do also is see if there is something bothering her about herself. I know it sounds silly but even the biggest bullies have insecurities.

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