My 11 Year old daughter wants a boyfriend!! Help - Advie please!!

Kris - posted on 06/16/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi,

My name is Kris and I am a single mother to an 11 yr old girl. I love my daughter so much, in fact some days she is the only reason I have to wake up in the morning...

My daughter does not live with me, she loves with her gran & grandad in the same city as I do & she comes to me when ever she wants & set weekends. I have been divorced from a man she knew since she was 9 months old (She also misses our old life.. this I know- so i keep remind her about changes & lifes changes, trying to make her understand this is where we are & she has a right to feel this way, however change happens everyday & we can either move with it or allow what no longer is hold us back!) & her gran & grandad (He biological father parents) gives that sense of stability....

I am currently in a great relationship and He & my Kid gets along well. I get the sense she wants a BF because I have a BF. However I have also been contacted by her teacher informing me there is some kind of "Epidemic" between the boys & girls that they are separating the sexes to a great extent. They think its the hormones are out of control.

So when she asked me if she can have a BF I asked her if she know why she wants a BF, what she will do with her BF, who is the boy she is interested in, what does she think her dad & gran would say about this!

Her response to each question was "I don't know" .. I asked her to ask herself these question & answer them honestly to herself. I told her I'm not upset because she is human & that is the feling she is facing at this point.

The question is how do I answer her and not poush her away but be effective in my response to her. I am very happy he asked me because I would NEVER have asked my mum under any circumstance.

Please help with some advise especially from a mom who has gone through this already & those who can relate in advice & experience.


Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it... I appreciate you!

xo
Kris

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Ev - posted on 06/16/2016

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It is plain and simple. She is too young to have one. She does not understand what having a relationship with a boy means at this age. Most likely, she wants to do this because the other girls do. You need to have the "talk" with her and start to explain about relationships on her level of understanding. She needs to know that emotions are deep and there are a lot of things that can happen. She needs to concentrate on school, friends, activities, and time with you. Tell her that there is an age and time boyfriends but now is not. Have you decided when to allow dating? My kids had to be 16 before they could date. My niece had to be the same I think but she is still doing the "middle school or high school" girl thing where she thinks she needs to do things because her friends in the group that has babies do them. It was why she got pregnant in the first place.

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