My 12 year old daughter asked me how to masturbate.

Carolann - posted on 07/12/2016 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Today I was doing laundry. When i took a load of clothes into my 12 years old daughters room she was naked on her bed touching herself. I quickly apologized and walked back out. As I closed the door I said please lock your door next time hun. A couple minutes later she came to me and said her friends talk about masturbation but she don't know how and asked if I'd help her.....? Help? We have a very open relationship I've always said if she's big enough for questions she's big enough for answers???? Help please

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Nellynunes148 - posted on 07/17/2016

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I would just tell her to touch herself until it feels good

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/18/2016

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No she wasn't. No she didn't. You are a pervert troll. Go away.

Sarah - posted on 07/17/2016

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She most definitely does NOT need a tutorial from you on masturbating. Talking about it; like how it is private, normal, and she will figure it out on her own, fine. Describing what you do, or showing her what you do, borders on inappropriate. Looking up this on the internet can lead her to porn. Also texting her friends is not private, so none of that should be happening. If she really can't reach sexual satisfaction, she can discuss that with her doctor when she is older. She does not NEED to have an orgasm at 12.

Sheila - posted on 07/15/2016

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I would say that it is fine to do that behind her locked bedroom door but that people are very different in what they like in this area and that there is not a right or wrong way to do it. But I would add that it a personal and private topic for everyone. I would emphasize that she should no longer talk to with these girls about this and walk away when they talk about it. It is a very personal subject for anyone and these girls would not keep her confidences. And also ask her not to discuss these types of things by text or online as those items can be forwarded anywhere.

Again, I urge you not to reveal your personal private information on this to her. There is very good chance she would tell her friends what you said. If the other girls discussed what you said in front of their parents, that would lead to a very sticky situation for you!


I would carefully monitor her phone and e-mail and photos she texts. She is only twelve. Best wishes 😊

Dove - posted on 07/17/2016

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Then tell her she may just not be ready. She can be curious and keep trying to figure it out on her own... or she can just put it out of her mind and focus on other things in life for a while.

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Carolann - posted on 07/16/2016

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Thank you. I told her some of that. She just asked today if I'd show her how. She says she's not doing something right?

Carolann - posted on 07/12/2016

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Right I agree. That's just the way she put it in our message. That's what bothered me. Thank you

Carolann - posted on 07/12/2016

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She lives with me but dad has joint custody but because this happened we made arrangements for her to be here tonight. Why hesatent?

Dove - posted on 07/12/2016

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If you are asking about SHOWING her... absolutely not. That is inappropriate on every level.

Carolann - posted on 07/12/2016

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Well i always told her that I'd help her no matter what. I just asked her to be sure before she asks. She googled it and read that if she learns wrong It would be bad she said. She wants to talk tonight. She informed me that she's not embarrassed. Do I be open and honest as I've always been. She's asked "other" questions that we've gone all way thru... She is very adiment tonight. We have gone over most other things. But .....thank you so much Dove... I need the input please. She's coming over in a few to wax

Dove - posted on 07/12/2016

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I'd likely tell her that if she doesn't know how then she probably doesn't need to be 'worried' about doing it just yet. There's nothing WRONG w/ doing it, but it's about what makes the specific person doing it feel good... so there isn't really a 'how to' manual. Well, obviously people have written sex books and stuff, but that's not what I mean.

If the topic came up in my home (my daughters are 14.5)... I don't know what I would say for sure.

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