My 12 year old daughter is just not coping with divorced parents and now wants to shut one parent out altogether.

Rosanne - posted on 09/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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We divorced some 7 years ago, we both are in new happy stable relationships. There is no abuse in either family, just a big income difference between the two. But she is desperate to "feel what it is like" to have a home with one mum and one dad and it appears to me she just isnt coping with the two homes, the two lifestyles, the two sets of parents. She wants to shut me out, and live with them. I would never and have never stopped her spending time with her father, he is a fly in fly out worker and is only home 2 weeks every 4, at his wish to be able to have a weekend free for himself, he has the daughter and his 14yr old son for 8 nights when he's home. Now the daughter wants to live with the fathers partner when he flies out to work instead of with me. She says for no other reason than that she prefers it there. I can see us becoming estranged. At first I felt she was replacing me, but now I see she is just struggling not having a Mum and Dad together, so she will 'pretend' the partner is her Mum and for her to cope with that she needs me out of the picture. We have (well I felt we have) a good relationship. She talks to me about her school friends and other issues, so if we weren't 'OK' that wouldn't be happening. She is loving and happy enough, but she aches for a one family. She is also therefore moving away from her brother who has been very close to her always. She is so hell bent on fitting in and feeling like she has a family she is willing to shut us out. Any suggestions on how I can help her?

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