My 12 year old is cutting for attention, and I need her to stop.

Emily - posted on 12/04/2017 ( 4 moms have responded )

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About a month ago, my 13 year old somehow acquired a razor and has been cutting her wrists. She’s been telling her friend about her cutting and is always wearing a black fingerless glove that covers her forearm to hide her scars. She has common sense, she knows that everyone is going to know that she’s cutting and is hiding it under that glove. I don’t know why she would want to do something so painful just for attention. Her teachers tell me that she hides out in the bathroom for lunch and recess with her friend (yes singular, she pushed the act by growing distant from most of her friends and I know it’s an act because of her behavior) and they stay and draw. She draws disturbing things like gore and bare hearts, sometimes even coloring them with blood. She has also started wearing a black hoodie every day to make herself look more emo. There’s been 3 other cases of self harm in her school, so I’m wondering if it has become a trend. I’ve confronted her about it, and she refuses to talk. How do I get her to stop?

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Ally - posted on 12/06/2017

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I am sorry! i am sure that as a mom, it is hard to see your daughter go through a difficult stage. Does she ever talk to you about things that have changed or become difficult for her this year(any changes in the family, bullying at school, etc)? If she won't talk to you, I encourage you to seek a therapist out for her to talk to someone. Cutting is obviously a very dangerous form of attention seeking. Usually it is a cry for help when she doesn't feel she has someone to talk to... I also would speak to her teachers to see if there has been any notice of changes socially/emotionally with your daughter during school hours.

Here is an article that could be helpful. Good luck!
http://bit.ly/2iuwXEt

Sarah - posted on 12/05/2017

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As a school nurse I implore you to take this seriously. Self-harming is not done for attention. I have seen one or two girls try it once, decide it hurts and never act again. To subject yourself to repeated physical pain is not normal teen behavior. She could wear that glove without cutting and get the same response from other students but she actually IS cutting. Why the teachers have not intervened either is shameful. Why is she permitted to hide in the restroom? Coloring a drawn image in with blood is another worry as it potentially exposes the community to blood born pathogens. Please get her into some therapy.

Bre - posted on 12/05/2017

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It’s not a trend. It’s not for attention. There is an emotional issue with you child. You don’t cut yourself especially or harm yourself for attention you do it because it’s more of a stress relief and too feel “alive again”
Have you heard of depression!?......
You need not be so judgmental and pass it of as a trend.
Talk to her.

Michelle - posted on 12/05/2017

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You get her professional help.
Just because you think it's for attention doesn't mean it is. There may be something else to it.
If there isn't then going to a therapist will probably put a stop to it.
Either way, you need to find out why she is doing it as most teens won't do this just for attention as you've said.

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