My 12 year old is suicidal and struggling with transgender issues.

Carrie - posted on 04/10/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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No matter how much help or how many times mt child has been admitted to mental health hospitals, we cannot get through to her/him. He has stepped up his ambition and efforts to attempt suicide and I am beside myself. This is the first time I have reached out beside the many counselors and therapists that are working as a team with my family. I do not discuss this with my friends and my family is limited in their knowledge of what I am truly going through. I would like to connect with other parents that are or have dealt with this problem. I do not judge my child about sexual identity. He is brilliant, strong, extremely talented artistically and musically, funny and witty. The heartbreaking situation is that he sees NO self worth. He hates himself and is starting to hate us too. He threatens to run away at any opportunity and is currently in a facility for the 4th time. I don't know what to do...

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Sarah - posted on 04/11/2016

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Have you considered a long term therapeutic placement? Here are some links to places i have sent kids personally; the first is my favorite and they have the best financial aid:
http://www.anasazi.org/
http://www.suwscarolinas.com/disorders/b...
When you look at the site and see the cost per day, don't panic, no one pays the full amount (except maybe Dr. Phil) They really have a commitment to helping teens turn their lives around and getting psychological illness under control.
If you can't swing one of these program or they sound like they would not be right for your family; have you considered a long term day program? He'd come home each night but go to therapy all day instead of school.
Has he actually been seen and treated by a child psychiatrist? Is he on any medication?
How long has he been threatening to hurt himself? Has he acted on his threat to harm himself? You must be very frustrated. Consider a long term option. If you do want t go that way, I can give you some tips on how to get school, insurance and scholarships to pay for the program,

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Sarah - posted on 04/11/2016

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How sad for all of you! He rally sounds like he needs long term placement. I hope you can find a place to meet his needs

Carrie - posted on 04/11/2016

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My child has a therapist at our clinic whom he has been seeing for over a year. He meets with the school psychologist on the days he actually makes it to school. We have our in home therapist that we meet with twice a week and who responds to emergency calls by coming to our home to assess if my child truly needs to go back to the hospital due to suicide threats or if we can come up with a better plan and work on coping. My child has been cutting for many months. His forearms, upper arms, thighs and side of rib cage. He steals shaving razors, used scissors, taken apart pencil sharpeners and i recently found safety pins he has taken from school.
He is on medication, yes. We have had it adjusted a few times while he was in the hospital. He takes medication for ADHD, anxiety and depression and a sleeping aid.
He has been threatening suicide for roughly a month now, and it gets worse as time goes by and the more we try to work on reaching deeper to understand what the root of the problem is and what he is essentially running from. He has stolen over the counter meds from his grandfather's home and has hoarded meds ("cheeked them") during his last stay in the hospital. Yes, he has acted on his threats but then becomes afraid, calling our CCF therapist that a cut won't stop bleeding, hitting the Call button in the hospital because he swallowed all of his hoarded pills.
We are now looking into day treatments and working with STEPPES. We will not stop trying of course, I am just so afraid for my baby. How do you teach a child who hates himself and the world that life can be good?

Carrie - posted on 04/10/2016

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No, we are open minded and accepting. His gender identity is only a portion of the problems. He is struggling with depression, ADHD, high anxiety and extreme anger about the break up of his father and I 4 years ago. The more help we get, (therapists, school counselors, day programs and CCF) the harder he is to control. He is adamant that he will do what it takes to end his life. He absolutely refuses to use any coping skills that are taught by the hospital therapists and our in home CCF therapist. His father and I are desperate and afraid. My child repeats the words, "I don't care. I want to die". He completely shuts down and becomes angry. I am afraid the next step will be violence.

Sarah - posted on 04/10/2016

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What is is motivation for not wanting to live? Does he want to live transgender and is not permitted too?

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