My 13 year old daughter

Rose - posted on 08/06/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a thirteen year old daughter who is ALWAYS on her phone. I have had to take her phone away because she gets low grades in school. Her grades go up so I give it back. Then the story repeats itself. She just graduated Junior High School. She had to attend to a two week summer program because it is required for the high school she is going to. At the end of the first week I get a call from the math teacher saying that she has failed all 3 quizzes and does not complete the assignments. He also tells me that if she does not do well in the next 2 quizzes she can lose the scholarship she qualified for. I take her phone away that same day and I told her she will not see a phone until Christmas and that's if she gets excellent grades. So she got 100 on both quizzes. She got graded for 2 classes in those two weeks. She got a C- and another C- This happens a month ago and she is still asking for her phone. She thinks that because she passed the two quizzes that were left she should get her phone back. We end up arguing because she wants her phone back. Her dad (we are separated) spoils her. Gets her everything she wants (like her phone at the age of 11) and suggested to give her phone back because it's summer. He gets upset when her grades get low but then forgets about it the next day and is like nothing happened. She is also asking for permission to hang out with friends outside but I say no because I do not feel comfortable letting her out in the area I live in and told her that her if she wants to see her friends she can invite them over. Her dad says I need to let her go out with her friends because she complains I don't let her do anything. This is a constant argument and I am frustrated. She prefers to stay at her dads house and when she comes home she just stays in her room and only comes out to eat. i need help making her understand why she cannot have her phone. Or am I being to hard on her not letting her go out with friends? Am I taking her phone away for too long?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2015




You set a condition, and she needs to meet the condition. That's that!
I would suggest that you and your ex get on the same page, and that he needs to understand that by trying to get you to give in, he is actually undermining you.
Your daughter needs to understand that she needs to meet her obligations and be responsible in order to get what she wants.
Stick to your guns.

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