My 13 year old daughter has had sex and smokes dope?

Savvy - posted on 10/31/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I try to be the most protective person i know over my children, but i don't know how my daughter is doing it! I know she doesn't do it at school, and she's always in the house and i always know where she is. Tips on keeping her in line?

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Michelle - posted on 10/31/2015

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Well obviously she isn't supervised at all times. Have you sat down and had a conversation with her? Have you listened to what she has to say?
Instead of trying to "keep her in line" have a talk. Not you telling her off or yelling at her, you need a calm discussion about what you want for her and why you don't want her to keep going the way she is.

Jodi - posted on 10/31/2015

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Do you know this because she told you or someone else told you? When you say you always know where she is, does that mean you always know she is supervised? How does she get to school? How does she get home from school? When and where is she spending time with her friends? How do you know she isn't doing it at school? Are you 100% certain she isn't skipping classes in a way that is slipping through the cracks? How often does she ask class teachers if she can go to the bathroom and take forever to use the bathroom? Are you 100% certain she is accounted for at break times? Does she ever spend an overnight with friends? Where is she getting the money for the drugs?

I could ask a million other questions, but obviously you can't account for her 100% of the time, so the first step is finding out where this is happening.

You should also make sure you have a conversation with her around sex and drugs. Make sure she is as informed as possible. If she is already having sex, it is a really good idea to discuss birth control and STD protection. Have her connect with the school nurse and school counsellor and share your knowledge with them so they can provide some support - most 13 year olds who are doing these things have some kind of issue they are dealing with, such as self esteem and peer pressure, issues at home, etc.

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