My 13-Year-Old Daughter Is Bullied At School

Sarah - posted on 09/23/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi. I am new to Circle of Moms. There is a child at her school who seems to be bullying her for being "white" ... 75%-80% of children at our local schools are Asian, and our communities are made up of Asian parents/staff/students as well - We live in Canada. This girl has a gang of friends who are much older than 8th grade, and my daughter has been bullied by her and the older girls since 4th grade! My daughter also said that she heard the girl told her friends that she lives w/ her aunt, grandparents, parents, etc. as a big family and that they let her do everything! I asked my daughter what she meant by what the children calls the "cool parents" and it turned out that it meant the student has parents who set NO LIMITS/BOUNDARIES with their kids! Such as, the student has unsupervised online activities, a laptop since age 10, social media under 13, letting her hang out w/ kids way older and going somewhere w/ them without them knowing who they are, tons of make up, inappropriate music, spoiling, etc. I'm shocked! Lately, this girl has been telling my daughter she's ugly, worthless, dumb, etc. and that her family says that all Caucasians are bad and more offensive racial things. Also, she hangs out w/ a freshmen from college and she has been visiting her middle school after school. I've contacted the principal, and have reported this. I've seen the fact that this child may not like her for not being "cool" - I set limits and boundaries and she doesn't always get what she wants, and my daughter knows that life isn't about getting whatever you want, and she appreciates what she has. She isn't running around hanging out w/ seniors and college freshmen unsupervised outside of school and going to someone's 18th birthday party w/ a group of people that her family does not know like her schoolmate may brag about, she has kids from her middle school and her neighbor friend is a year older than she is, about 9th grade. She has a cell phone because she walks home alone and I do allow her to play games on it, but she isn't online on social sites because of her problems at school. Any ideas? I've reported this many times, and the principal wrote down on a notepad that what he's most concerned about is both the girl and my daughter's SAFETY and that it is not safe for that child to hang around w/ unknown young adults and her parents letting her do everything and buying everything for her, and also her mental health ... and my daughter that it is a big problem that she's bullied because it leads to depression/suicide or some unexpected issues and he'll deal w/ them as soon as possible.

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Melissa - posted on 09/30/2015

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Hi Sarah! I hear ya, it is so hard to know that these kids are just reaching out for attention sometimes. Hope the article was helpful!

Sarah - posted on 09/26/2015

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Dear Melissa,
Sorry for the current late reply. No, I don't mind the fact that I have to copy and paste ;) I'm most shocked that the parents don't seem to care very much, but oh well, you can't help the fact how another parent raises their children even if it may lead to chaotic behavior at school...

Melissa - posted on 09/24/2015

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Gosh, I am so sorry that your daughter is being bullied. I think you going to the school is the right direction. I remember reading about this when my son brought this up to me about someone on the playground...hope this article provides some direction...sorry you'll have to copy and paste, not letting me add a link.

http://bit.ly/1jf3eh7

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