My 13 year old daughter is talking to an older boy, help?

Alyson - posted on 02/18/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 13 this month, and I recently found out that she is ''talking'' to a 17 year old boy. I found out because I looked through her phone and saw messages between them. They met through social media and he lives in the same state but a different city. She says that they are just friends, but in the messages they were calling each other babe/baby. I don't know how serious it is, but I want to know what should I do about this?

My daughter is a very pretty, mature young lady. But I feel like talking to a 17 year old at her age is not appropriate. She's in 8th grade, he's a senior in high school. Even though she is mature, 13 is just too inexperienced to be in a serious relationship, especially with an older boy. I had my daughter when I was 15, and the decisions that I made at that age I wouldn't EVER want her to make them. I get that girls at her age will be interested in boys and feel that having a boyfriend is a normal teen thing, but dating an older guy rushes your growth. I don't have a problem with my daughter talking to a boy or developing an interest in a boy, but someone in her age and maturity range, not an almost legal adult. I try to have an open relationship with my daughter and let her be her own person. Am I overreacting?

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Fouzia - posted on 02/18/2015

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good to know that you taking care of her well i suggest you that just take it easy and keep an eye on her without showing her ... take her in your confidence that you truly trust her and you r not worried if she have friend like him- because i think if you will show your tension to her she will get confuse that why you are taking care of it a lot-- u know curiosity will get convert into hiding things from you.

Fouzia - posted on 02/18/2015

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no you are not overreacting as being a caring mother you are right- she is younger then the boy and he can drive her in her own benefits you know what i mean..try to get more involve with her and talk to her more about him.

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Jodi - posted on 02/18/2015

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You need to talk to her about the dangers of talking to strangers online (and that's what he is) as well as the fact that this boy is 17. Let her know that his idea of their relationship may be VERY different to her idea of what the relationship is. You need to set boundaries around her use of social media and ensure she sticks to those boundaries, and this should be one of them - no chatting with random strangers!!!

Personally, I've already made it clear to my daughter she will not be getting a smart phone until she is old enough to pay for it, which will be when she can get a job, which won't be before she is 15. Any younger than that and I just don't believe children have the social skills or the brain development to be remotely responsible with social media.

Fouzia - posted on 02/18/2015

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Oh my God dont you think its too early for her when she is not aware of bad effects and all

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