My 13 year old daughter "scams" online pixels on a kids site??

Kimberly - posted on 01/16/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 8th grade daughter claims to be stealing pixels on a website that is intended for young kids, tweens, and teens. I have checked it out before letting her go on it and its a fun site where you can ONLY talk safely with monitoring, play educational games, buy items, etc. like Animal Jam, Club Penguin, etc. I found out that she's been stealing items from other users when I watched her - which I always normally monitor her. She offers one item, the user agrees, she tells the user to give it to her first, and she just leaves. I looked the game up on Common Sense Media, and parents have said its a very safe site where they ban you permanently if you try giving out personal info and have age-appropriate rules, limits, and games for children of all age groups, but they have complained that its been a bad influence on some of their kids because the game is turning the children into "online scammers" and it influences them in a negative way. What should I tell her? I don't want to get to the point where I'm going to restrict her from being online, but I told her that I AM her legal parent, and I can set limits for her, etc.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2016

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LOL Good girl, Kimberly! I'm really glad you did it!

You are my kind of momma, girl! (not only that, but you didn't take my comment out of context, or get pissed...I love ya!)

Keep being "that" kind of parent, Kimberly. She's gonna try your patience here for the next few years, but I'm living proof that we CAN survive this crazy roller coaster called parenting...

Kimberly - posted on 01/16/2016

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Thank you, Shawnn.
I told her that I CAN take away her electronics and, yes, I DID. She was very upset, I told her that I am NOT her best friend, I'm her MOTHER, and I have the right to restrict her Internet access whenever I feel the need to. :)
I told her that I could to give her the final warning, and she didn't stop. I also restricted certain activities and will put her to counselling. (I'm not listening to her excuses ad her "what-ifs" and her "buts", because consequences are consequences, I gave her too many chances and she blew them off.) I have spoken to her very firmly that if she's stealing as a teenager right now, she will face some real world consequences in the future. I blocked that site that she was scamming on so she can't ever get on until I know she's mature enough and understands that scamming is not okay, no matter where the scam takes place or what she is trying to scam. I'm not buying her things that she wants at the grocery store, mall, etc. and she got some stuff taken away as well.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2016

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You nip it now. She's basically a bully, and a thief. PUT A STOP TO IT NOW.

She thinks she's getting away with it, because the other kids don't know any better, and at this point, she IS getting away with it because you're not willing to restrict her access.

It is your job to teach her how to be a responsible, contributing member of society. In that regard, why would you NOT want to be the parent that puts reasonable restrictions on their kid? Honestly, the ONLY computer access any kid needs is enough to type the research report or whatever homework. IF internet is needed (trust me, it's NOT needed for homework at the 8th grade level most times), then the child can access the internet on a parentally controlled computer in the main public areas of the home, with a parent supervising.

Telling her that you CAN do it, and actually DOING it are two different things as well. You can TELL her until you're blue in the face, but until you physically put those restrictions on her access, you're just blowing smoke. Follow through, so that your daughter will learn that she does have consequences.

Kimberly - posted on 01/16/2016

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Unfortunately, I know. I have taken her phone and her electronics away to work except for the family computer which isn't hers and I've set a password for it: only me, her father, and her younger brother knows and he is free to be playing whatever he wants, but she is not.
I explained to her that there are young children on websites like that because they are the parent-approved sites that lots of kids have fun on but they are VULNERABLE and easy to target. These users might've paid real money for membership, virtual money, game cards, etc. and she just took it away after buying it with real money. She doesn't seem to understand, and I also found out that her account is on YouTube, someone posted a video of her scamming online to warn others. I also showed her some articles that many other moms have wrote about the same website - their teens are scamming pixels on the Internet and they fear it will influence their futures and have banned them from being online. She just doesn't understand :/ she obsessed with being "rare" on it, and I have gotten to the point where she should go counselling,

Sarah - posted on 01/16/2016

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,Don't permit he on the the sites. Online scamming is a huge issue for young internet users, they fall prey to older kids like your daughter. Theft is theft, be it money or pixels. You don't want her to think this is ok to do, so ban her from using the internet except when you are there to supervise.

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