My 13 year old is out of control? What should I do?

Diana - posted on 03/07/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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2 years ago, when my daughter was 12, when she started 7th grade, she started sexting, borrowing her friends cell phones at school, taking her friends cell phones to the school bathroom or using her friends cell phones at the changing room (for gym), to take nude photos of herself and send it to her friends, and post it on the internet. I complained to the school, then the district, then the board of education, they did nothing. I sat her by the computer told her she will stay there until she logs on to the websites and deletes the photos and she sat there all weekend without deleting the photos. I grounder her, that didn't help, so I started taking away more privileges. It got to the point where I took everything out of her room except a mattress and a blanket, and a few simple clothes, she hasn't stopped. She just sat in the same place all day for 7 months and still she didn't stop. In march that year I decided to take her to counseling and she kept insisting to the counselor she can do whatever she wants and that she will continue to do this and she has the right to do this because I don't pay for the phone. We had CPS investigate and they gave her a firm talking to. They asked her if she was sexually abused and she kept insisting she wasn't and defended us as parents. They told her firmly and authoritively she's not an adult and has no right to send nude photos and if she continues to do it they will have serious problems and that's when she called them names and said she doesn't care she will do what she wants. She went to summer school because she did poorly in school and was sexting all summer. I then decided to involve the police and they just had a firm talking to with her. In August she was arrested and spent 1 week in jail because of a nude photo involving her friend (her friend also was in jail). They released her after 1 week. In October I found out that there was a girl in her school (age 13) who was having sex with a 28 year old man. My daughter convinced the girl to continue the relationship and manipulated her into not telling an adult (telling the girl she was mature for her age, facilitating communication, etc). I was told by CPS to put her in a group home, and I did. She spend 10 months before they kicked her out for violence.

The group home people tried to get her to change, but she absolutely REFUSED to change and do school work. They tried every kind of consequence but she was resistant and REFUSED to do school work. In the summer she started to become violent and they kicked her out in late August. She has to repeat 8th grade and she is back to her old behaviors. Her little sister (6th grader) goes to the gym locker room with her and she is influencing her sister to do these things. After school I try to pick her up but she manages to leave before I get her and she goes to homes of younger boys and has sex with them (one of them was 11). She says they are young, naive and she can easily manipulate them and she told me that when she is 18 she will still have sex with 12 year olds. I told her that's illegal and her response was "I don't care".

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/07/2014

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2014

Have her evaluated by a psychiatrist, and follow his treatment recommendations.

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