My 13 year old wants social media?

Katie - posted on 04/03/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My child wants social media, specifically Facebook. She's never had any histories of misbehaving online or in person, bullying others, inappropriateness, cruel talk, or sending inappropriate "sexting" pictures like some girls from her school does.
I'm aware that she might be exposed to older content online, and visiting websites she might've accidently got on or intentionally. I've always trusted her and she never has lied to me about anything before - she first asked me for social media at aged 11, but I said no and she respected that, none of those fake Facebook or Snapchat profiles. She is mature for her age, and chooses not to hang out with kids her age or older that are having sex and making foolish decisions. She attends a grades 1-7 school - also for Pre-K aged. I've always made rules for her activities online such as I'm letting her read articles people wrote and go on YouTube but if she knows that something is inappropriate then don't go on it or if she does not know, she asks me if she can see it or not and I see it first but if it's a big NO then she respects that and that I have good reasons to not let her be on it. If I do let her have one, I'll make a long talk about safety and the dangers of pedophiles and online predators, also cyberbullying and suicide. She understands why I don't let her go on "disappearing apps" such as ask.fm and Snapchat or those teen dating websites mainly because some people write the most HORRIBLE things on those sites, parents can see "no evidence", nude photos, her causing trouble or someone else causing it, and because some websites that "tweens and teens" go on aren't really who they claim to be. Any ideas?

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Dove - posted on 04/06/2015

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If she hasn't yet watched the movie Cyberbully... watch that w/ her. I don't see much wrong w/ a Facebook account for a teenager if you have the log in information, high security settings, and strict rules in place (about only friending people they KNOW in person... none of this friend of a friend or random person nonsense... plus you check in on things regularly).

My teenagers do not have Facebook, but they do have Instagram and so far we have had no issues because of it.

Michelle - posted on 04/04/2015

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My older children have FB but I have their passwords so I can check what they are doing. They really don't go on that much anyway.
As long as you let her know that you will randomly check her account and her friends list then there isn't really much harm in it. Just make sure you limit the amount of time spent on there.

Amanda - posted on 04/03/2015

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13 seems kind of young for Facebook or any kind of social media. But she is 13 and teenagers will sneak if you are too strict. Maybe you could set it up for her. You make the login info and do not tell her the password. So when she wants to go on Facebook you would be the one to log her in. And since you have the login info you can keep track of who she is friends with and who she talks to. You can tell her until you feel more secure about it you will be in the room with her monitoring what she is doing. So basically it's a compromise. Hope this helps!

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