my 13 years old daughter says she no longer wants to go to her dads

Diane - posted on 10/22/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my ex and i have joint coustdy of our girls week on week off my oldest 13 tells me every week she at her dads she no longer wants to go there i have also heard the same thing from my youngest 11 a few times. now i sure that he not hurting them phycaly butm he as remarried and has an other child now. it breaks my heart when she calls or texts and says she doesnt want to be the i dont want to spilt up my girls at all and i know there father would fight me hard if i go for full cousdty .what do i do help

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Ev - posted on 10/22/2014

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Then maybe you should look into talking to a few lawyers and see what you can do about getting more of the custody on your side. But I still have to tell you that he will fight it and will not be happy about it.

Ev - posted on 10/22/2014

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Then maybe it is time to look into changing the custody situation somewhat. Also if you do go this route, your 13 year old might be old enough by state law to speak to the judge and tell the judge what she wants. The judge depending on age of the kids and how they are will take into consideration what they want and why. That does not mean that the judge will agree and make the decision based on that alone. But you do need to check state laws to see how old they need to be to say where they want to live.

On the point of the girls being forced to care for the baby, what exactly does that entail? For example, my daughter ended up being the cook, maid, and nanny for her father and second step mother. They would go out on dates and what not never telling her or even asking her to watch the kids. She would usually find out via the younger ones that the parents left. (The parents was their nickname for their dad and step mom...I have two kids). Because of their actions, my daughter almost failed junior year of high school. But she would not speak up and tell them anything because she was trying to please others. It did backfire on her later.

What I am trying to say is that there is a difference between total care and changing a diaper, watching the baby for a few minutes, or helping out with the baby. After all this is their sibling too.

Ev - posted on 10/22/2014

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Maybe you need to talk to their dad and see what is going on. Explain to him what they have said and that you wonder what is going on to make them want to say this thing. At this age kids are going to start to say they want to live with one parent over another for a lot of reasons. How long has dad been married to the new wife. How old is the child and is this child theirs or another from her previous relationship? You need to ask questions to find the answers and not go on just the fact the kids do not want to be there anymore. Also, you should ask the girls the why behind their comments.

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Diane - posted on 10/22/2014

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yesi surehe will fight me and hard too but you are right thks so much just helps to have someone to talk to

Diane - posted on 10/22/2014

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yes i agree they should help to a point with the baby, i am told that they clea alot and have to cook many of there own meals. if i say something to there father they are lying. both my girls are in kung fu and there dad will not take them to all there classes cuz it doesnt fit into his schudle i pay for all of there leasons have never asked for his helpthey compete and if they fall on his time he will not take them

Diane - posted on 10/22/2014

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they have only been married a few monthes the baby is a year old and is theres. i have tried to talk to him but he tells me that the girls say the same thing about me ( they both deny that) i have asked thev girls why they say he too hard on them and they dont like being forced to care for baby

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