my 13 yr old stepson with the obsession of my daughter.

Kandi - posted on 06/23/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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This weekend my daughter came to me because she had two bras to take missing. We have not found them yet. The next morning she came to me again because my stepson woke her up in the middle of the night rubbing her leg. When she told him to get out he said he was scared of the dark. When she got up later in the morning all of her undergarments was missing, she laid out her outfit for the next day, and some other things from her hamper was missing. She is scared and I am extremely worried. She told me and his dad and his dad just laughed and said it was normal for a 13 yr old going through puberty. I don't think so. My oldest son did not do things like that. If her dad finds out he will have a fit. I don't know what to do. My husband said he talked to him and he will not do this again but this is a sneaky young man. I am very very worried. What do I do?

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Guest - posted on 06/23/2014

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What kind of internal alarms and surveillance does your security system include?
I ask because if I were in your situation, I would have an indoor camera pointed at your daughter's bedroom door so that if he goes into her room, you will know when and why. Obviously, you don't want a camera IN her room, so you cannot catch him stealing, but if you see him go in while she is out or asleep, that is a red flag.
There are also those little motion alarms, most homes only have them in the foyers and near other doors and windows, so that you don't set them off going to the bathroom at night, but you can buy separate ones for about $25 that do not link to your alarm system, but will sound a small alarm to wake her (and you) up if he goes into her room at night, so you can stop him and talk to him about it in the act. It can be activated and deactivated from inside her room. There are two kinds, one uses an infrared beam, the other uses magnetic connections, the door has to be closed for the magnetic ones to be activated, but the infrared ones can be activated with the door open or closed.

If you catch him more than a few times, I would insist on counselling to make sure he has not been molested. While teens his age can be very curious about girls, and MIGHT do something like this once or twice, his actions are very boarder line abnormal, and I wouldn't let them continue without action.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/23/2014

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Put a lock on her door and tell her to use it. Tell your husband that if he will not submit his son to an evaluation, you are filing for separation until that happens, and his son is in treatment for inappropriate sexual advances.

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Kandi - posted on 06/23/2014

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I told him that it was not funny and I didn't think it was normal but if she decided to leave to go live with her dad that I was not going to stay here. We were a package deal when I married him. He said that he was taking the subject lightly but he didn't want to embarrass him and make him think something was wrong with him
. I told him if something else happens he better handle it. I am worried about my daughter and her feelings. I do not want her to feel uncomfortable in her own home.

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