My 13 yr son is so disrespectful to me and tries to bully me. Moody, negative and generally won't do what I ask of him if he thinks my husband is nearby, he straightens up. By the way he holds a 3.0 gpa. Is this normal behavior?
Nancy - posted on 10/31/2012
Our son has been with us for 5 yrs. He is adopted. He disliked his real Mom and I often think he trasferred some of that to me. He doesn't appreciate affection and I understand that is normal in a 13/14 yr old? He is an only child to us and we are old enough to be grandparents, he reminds us.
I agree about the respect and that is also why I don't back down and why I often have to shove him out of the way as he often stands in front of the doorway and won't move to allow me to pass, regardles of how many times I ask.I believe he is trying to intimidate me. Wouldn't you think he would get it after I moved him when he would not move for me?
Rachel - posted on 10/30/2012
My mother-in-law raised SIX boys. The age difference between the oldest and the youngest is fifteen years. She had the first five in an eight year window. She said they all wanted to get mouthy at some point. However, when the oldest hit his belligerent phase (just shy of sixteen), the hammer came down fast. Their dad bellowed, swore, and when the boy tried to "come at him," gave one good cuff across the head. He told him that they would respect their mother regardless of whether or not he was present and if he found out they so much as hinted at disrespect he would wreck their world. The rest caught on fast and their "acting out" was much more subtle, even at its worst. She said the trick with boys (besides making sure if a father is present that he has a zero tolerance policy on disrespect) is to be tougher. She said she showed no weakness/fear/hurt to them. All of her boys are grown (her youngest turned eighteen this year), graduated, and productive members of society. They are INCREDIBLY respectful to women - I've met every one of them and they were all kind and courteous to me. It is crucial that boys learn to respect their mothers - this was something my parents taught me to look for in a husband. They said, "Avoid a momma's boy, but that is far better than a guy that doesn't respect his mother - steer clear of that nonsense." Observing men in my life I have seen it to be true. The man that loves and respects his mother, but is willing to admit she can err is generally more prone to treat his significant other better than the man that trash talks his mother, or is disrespectful to her.
Sorry to ramble - hope this helps!
Carla - posted on 10/30/2012
unfortunately it is normal behavior...my son is 15..almost 16 and acts outta line all the time..he is very mouthy and picks at his younger brother just because...he doesn't have good grade and does the opposite of what i say...I think mine and your son will just have to learn the hard way..sometimes kids don't appreciate what they have and what their parents do for them untill they grow up and have kids for themselves...Keep your head up and keep talking to him...even if he doesn't show interest..he will remember later in life what you said to him...GOOD LUCK!!
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