My 13yrs old Thinks she bisexual

Salina - posted on 01/08/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Not that I was looking for it but as a mom I wanted to check the company she's keeping on her cell phone. So while looking through her text msg.'s I found conversation that lead me to believe she's carrying on this type of relationship with a girl at school. Now I have to state that my mom instinct felt something could be headingin this direction just based on my observations as she had grown. Then I noticing how she is always glued to her phone. So I sat her down and let her know I went through her phone and asked her point blank. She confessed to me she does find girls attractive and that she kissed this girl she is seeing. I didn't yell our get angry at all I only told her that I was sad that she couldn't talk to me about this but I love her no matter what. I also told her she is to young to date and that she would respect my wishes. I can see and she shared that she is trying to figure out of this lifestyle is what she is about. I want to help her with figuring this out but I don't know if I should or how??

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Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2014

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I think the only thing you can Do is be supportive no matter what. She may just be experimenting or she may in fact be a lesbian. I do know that if you forbid her to do anything it will lead her in the exact direction you don't want her to go in. So just be open minded and let her know you are there and she pretty much will make her own decisions. Well good luck!

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Lori Marie - posted on 01/08/2014

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That is what is sad about people that are attracted to the same sex. People will judge her but that is where it is good to show her to never listen to what others think or say, just long as you are happy and true to yourself. Also, that her family and friends will always love her and accept her no matter what. If those people don't except it, then they can go away. I would let her figure all of that out on her own, but be there every step of the way for her. Let her know that if she needs to talk about it, when it comes to anything you are more than happy to listen. This will make her feel confident into looking for who she is, because her mother is there for her if she needs to vent, or even to ask advice from. For example, I have friends that are gay/lesbian and they come to me for advice all the time on how to get somebody to like them. There really is no difference so it will be easy for you to help when she is able to date. Like I said before I am really happy about how you took it. You may not know it but she trusts you a lot more now. :)

Salina - posted on 01/08/2014

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Lori and Jennifer,
Thank you so much for your reply! Your response is much appreciated. I am strict and I don't put up with nonsense but I have always been opened minded with her. I think your right that she might have felt that I might have gotten mad. I made a decision a long time ago that what ever sexuality my child chose I would love unconditional. I feel that this has brought her some relief but I'm so worried that she will run into some judgmental people and that's only going to really make my mother bear instinct evolve! She's so young of course I only want to protect her! I do hope this is only an experiment!

Lori Marie - posted on 01/08/2014

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I have to say it is soo great that you are accepting of her no matter what sex she is attracted too. Stay supportive of her and she will open up to you more. You have already let her know that you will love her no matter what and that is something every child wants to hear. I think the only reason she probably didn't tell you is because she is scared that you will be disappointed or angry with her, for that is happening a lot today.

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