My 14 year old girl is a trouble maker

Sarah - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My teenager is a good kid, well use to be. I am recently bringing a child into my care, she is my niece. She just came from a family that was going to adopt her and dropped the adoption paper. She came about six months ago, and she was a straight A student and she was always so eager to go to church, and go to school. Also, she never talked to me the way she does now. Now shes cussing and not wanting to do the things she was eager to do before. I try grounding her, but she tells me this does not affect her in any way. I do not know what to do because I am new at this parenting thing.

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Brandy - posted on 05/21/2016

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Hi, I think you are a great person to open up your heart and home to your niece. I'm sure you both are trying to figure out what to do now and how to exist together. I think that she may be trying to sort through a lot of emotions and also trying to figure out who she really is. I read this article called Helping Adopted Kids Piece Together Their Identity, and I think it may be helpful. http://bit.ly/1TNNso2 Hopefully you guys will develop trust and love for one another and develop a unbreakable bond. Blessings

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/19/2016

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First, SHE is not a trouble maker. She comes from an extremely troubled past and home life, but SHE is not a trouble maker.

She probably needs to be in counseling

Sarah - posted on 05/19/2016

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Correct, she is my niece and the only child in my home. I have her in therapy right now, and she just sits in there and does not talk. I understand she is going through a lot, but I just do not know how to handle this. It is all new to me. She stays in her room all the time and when she is ready to come out she does and she treats me horribly.

Dove - posted on 05/18/2016

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The 14 year old girl is your niece... or your daughter? From trying to put all of your post together I am 'assuming' she is your niece and the only child in your home and you've only had her for 6 months... correct?

It sounds like she has had a lot of turmoil in her life if she was going to be adopted and those people abandoned her. I do not think grounding is the answer. Try to talk to her about her feelings... possibly w/ the two of you going to counseling together. Granted, the disrespectful behavior is not acceptable, but you need to get to the route of the behavior and help her through it. If she is swearing at you have her go in her room to listen to music, read, draw, do a puzzle, or just sit and chill... let her know that you will listen to whatever she has to say when she is ready to speak respectfully.

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